Undercover in Paris- 038
by Sasha-038
Summary: What could've happened and what might've been... Jibbs. Might have some explicit scenes. Not for small children.
1. Paris nights

Jennifer Shepard cursed under her breath. She just couldn't seem to get Gibbs right. When she had been a probie she understood the harsh attitude. Being a feminist she didn't exactly want to be treated sweetly. But now it was getting old. She'd been an NCIS agent for what 2 years now? Seemed about right. She mumbled more words under her breath. Stan stared at her as she cleaned up the coffee mess by Gibbs desk.

"Rule 23" Stan said smirking a little at her probie mistake.

She could tell he was entertained by her little screw up. She stared up at MTAC. Gibbs had been up there for hours instead of down here catching dirt bags. She'd never be the director of NCIS. It's all a bunch of stupid politics. Although it would be nice to get Gibbs back for all the things he'd done to her as a probie.

"Come on Shepard" A voice came into her ear. She saw Gibbs standing over her. "Sorry" she uttered under her breath. This was the second time this week she'd done this. Well it wasn't her fault he kept waking her up at 5 am to work a case. She was tired all the time now since she didn't like energy drinks or coffee. Finishing with the mess she stood up. "Don't apologize" he said gruffly. She turned around to see Stan smiling. But it was Jenny's turn to smile as Stan got a big twak to the back of the head. _Serves him right_ she thought to herself. Gibbs gave her a nice long hard stare but didn't hit her. Thank god because if he would've hit her she would've most likely strangled him.

"We got a dead man at the pentagon" he said. He was going to say more but Director Tom Murrow cut him off. "Not this case Gibbs" he said. Jen and Stan eyed each other in a 'this is not good' way. "Why not sir" Gibbs asked a bit of annoyance in his voice. Morrow inhaled giving a second of separation between their separate statements.

"I want you on a different case" he answered.

"What kind of case sir"

"A few women are being abused by their husbands who are marines of course. They all live in the same area and they're all red heads." With this he smiled at Gibbs. Gibbs looked as confused as well… Gibbs could look.

"What are we supposed to do sir?" He asked still sounding pretty annoyed.

"Shepard, Gibbs pack a bag. You're going undercover"

_LOVELOVELOVE_

Husband and wife? Him and Jen? Ha! He thought to himself. He had to admit Jennifer Shepard was definitely attractive. Slim legs, curved hips and the most beautiful long red hair. But there was more to her then that. He grabbed some clothes and bourbon and shoved it into his bag. Why him and Jen? They'd been teased for sleeping together even though it never really happened. Maybe he'd have fun with her on this assignment. He'd have to kiss her. Maybe even make love to her. Maybe he'd enjoy it. Or of course she'd make his life h*** for the next few weeks or so. He jumped in his car and drove off thinking of her red lips up against his. As much as he hated the dirty thoughts he smiled at this one, driving to the hotel they were staying at.

She always hated one bed hotel rooms. She liked her personal space. Now every time she needed to change or sleep she's have to do it in front of him.

"What 'cha thinkin' about" he asked noticing how deep in thought she was.

"How I'm going to survive this" she replied smartly. He put in his earwig. "Gibbs" said the voice from the agency. "yeah" Gibbs mumbled. "You're gonna be working blind" Tom said as Jenny put in her earwig. "Well what are we supposed to do" she asked and noticing the voice wasn't Stan's she added a "sir" on the end.

"Just do what other adult couples do" Tom said.

Gibbs knew what Tom meant by this and he smiled at Jenny's face as the thought slipped into her mind.

"They'll start watching you at 21:00 tonight."

"So they'll watch us sleep" Jenny said but she knew the statement was useless.

"You're married Shepard" Tom said. "Put on a show."

* * *

It was 8:30 PM. Jen and Gibbs sat next to each other on a couch. They were watching a stupid show but neither of them were paying attention. They were only thinking about what they were going to do in only 20 minutes. "Make sure you turn the air up" Stan's voice came flowing through the earwig.

"You gonna watch" she said

"Naw Tom said no. Said I'd crack to many jokes."

20 minutes flew by like seconds

* * *

"Okay" came Tom's voice. "Get started" Jen and Gibbs exchanged a stare then came close to each other. Not that close but close enough.

"Dear I'm going to bed" she said and turned around walking to the bedroom.

_Romantic_ Gibbs thought to himself but he followed her anyway. She turned around when he came in.

"But i take it... you're not tired" She said stepping closer to him.

He's had 4 wives. He knew what to do next. He grabbed the back of her neck and put his lips on her. She whimpered a little surprised at his fast reaction. She ran her fingers through his hair. When they released each other to take a breath she pulled his shirt off and he ripped hers off popping a few of the buttons. She remembered Stan was watching when she heard his voice.

"Grrr" he growled like a cat. "Get 'im Shepard."

She could hardly deal with the fact he was watching them. But there was no way she could sleep with Gibbs with Stan talking to her. She tore the earwig out of her ear and threw it so Stan could talk to the wall. Right as she did so he pushed her down onto the bed. She kissed him exploring each others mouths she fiddled with his pants button.

He knew he was driving her crazy. He slowly moved his lips down to her neck. He felt her skirt fall down along with her panties. He heard her scream loudly. "God Jen" he managed to say moving to her collar-bone. She bit her lip to stop from screaming again as a hand moved to her thigh. She moaned. Did he have any idea how good this felt? Did he know how much control he had? They could do this all night if he wanted to. Wrapping her legs tightly around his waist she flipped it to where she was on top and they were wrapped in the covers. She moved her hand along his sweating face and whimpered again. She wasn't a virgin of course but **_this _**felt good.

* * *

The next morning she woke up at 2 AM alone in bed. She threw on a robe and walked out to the kitchen to find Jethro. He was there with bourbon and a t-shirt **_with_** pants on.

"Have fun last night Jen" he asked.

She jumped at the sound of her name. Her real name. She knew they were working blind but... Oh yeah she thought to herself. It's 2 clock. She could call him his real name.

"Did you?" he asked interrupting her thoughts.

"Did I what" She asked clueless although she clearly remembered the question.

"Enjoy your night"

"I like acting"

"And sex too apparently"

"Well I'm not a virgin"

"Didn't say you were" he added making a final mark.

"Didn't say you did" She said smirking.

and with that their conversation ended inviting a strange silence.

"Wanna do it again" he asked softly. At first she thought she imagined it but seeing the way he looked at her she knew he really had said it. It was early. Stan and Murrow would be asleep so no one would see. And yet she hesitated. _This is a test. _she thought. _He wants to see me break rule number twelve and he'll ne_ver _get over it. I'll be probie Jen forever. _She continued to hesitate. But she had fun last night. Maybe he had fun with her too. Maybe he was serious. She decided to ask.

"Is this a test"

She asked it in such a serious voice Gibbs cracked a smile. He put his hands on her waist and slowly backed her up to the wall. Her eyes traveled down his body then back to his face in a sexual way.

He grabbed the back of her neck. But again she began to hesitate. She looked a little to the left in order to stop herself from doing something naughty. "Maybe we shouldn't do th-mmm" she said giving into his kiss. He tongued her slightly nibbling her lip. She couldn't stop now. She slipped a hand to his hair and grabbed tightly.

He heard her moan and felt her soft fingers in his hair. She moaned his name loudly."JETHRO" she nearly screamed as he moved his lips to her collar bone. "I can go lower if you want Jen" he said his lips moving down closer to her breasts. She held up her index finger. "Bedroom" she said softly kissing him one more time before he carried her there.

* * *

It had been only 4 weeks since she slept with him. her gun was drawn and loaded by her side. She saw the man suspected for killing those women. He stood there talking to a Chinese or possibly Japanese man named Jackie Canyon. They spoke Hebrew and small words Jenny managed to pick up. 'Money' he said in English and "Ken" or 'yes' in Hebrew.

She hear Gibbs count down until 1 where they both held up their guns. "NCIS!" she shouted. "FEDERAL AGENTS DON'T MOVE!" Said Gibbs's voice from behind her. The man fired a few shots and ran.

Gibbs chased after him Jenny on his heels. He wasn't about to be beaten by a probie. Especially not one he'd slept with only a month before. He leaped barley grabbing the man's feet and pulling him down. Gibbs fired a shot killing the man.

Suddenly Gibbs felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. Why the h*** had Jen just shot him. He turned around to see Jackie there. And suddenly he thought Jenny had been hurt. When he saw her come up behind Jacky he exhaled noticed he was holding his breath.

She didn't hesitate. Just pulled the trigger. She heard Gibbs yell out as Jackie fell to the floor. She hadn't shot him. Had she? She saw the shot in his shoulder but realized it wasn't him who had cried out. It was her. A bullet had went through her thigh.

"Jen!" she heard him shout before it went black. Before it went black she saw his beautiful blue eyes look into hers.

She sat in the hospital room quietly. She'd been waiting about 5 minutes for the nurse. Her leg was sore but it didn't hurt. She was most likely on pain killers. A nurse walked into the room. She was female which made her much more comfortable. "Glad to see you're awake" the nurse said.

"you're husband was here-"

"I'm not married"

"A man you're age" she said eying the redhead carefully.

"Over all we're just glad the massive blood loss didn't affect your child" the nurse said slightly surprised Jen didn't ask about it.

"WHAT?!" Jen nearly screamed. Had she just said the child?

"Yes mam you're about a month pregnant"


	2. Seeing him again

A/N: This chapter is about 9 months after Jenny Shepard lost Jethro to a dear John letter.

She cried a little a tear falling down her cheek. She needed to talk to someone. There was Tony but could he keep a secret? She knew Abby couldn't. Not from Gibbs at the least. There was special agent Todd. But she was new. She needed Jethro. But she couldn't. She picked up the phone and called Ducky. Even though he was male she knew him very well. And he was a doctor.

"Dr. Mallard" he said through the phone.

She hesitated.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Ducky" she hardly said under her breath so he wouldn't hang up.

"Jennifer" he said a bit of anger sneaking into his voice.

"What you did to Jethro ashamed me He made it unbearable for Stan to stay."

She could tell how upset he was at her. "I'm pregnant Ducky" she nearly blurted out before she could start crying again.

"My god. I-I'll be there asap." he said before hanging up.

A few minutes later Ducky came into the warm house special agent Caitlin Todd behind him. Jenny answered the door and let them in. She was very big sitting down she sighed as if she was in some sort of pain. "How far are you" Ducky asked heating her cry out. "Ten months" Jenny said calmly. Kate seemed concerned."You should be at a hospital" She said nervously. She handed Jenny a water bottle and Jenny accepted.

"I hope you don't mind me bringing Caitlin. I thought you might need a woman by your side" Ducky said.

"It's fine" she said but actually she was really glad to see that Kate was here. She had considered calling her friend Ziva but she didn't want Ziva to see her like this.

"Let's go" Ducky said

* * *

She screamed again agent Todd squeezing her hand as she had another contraction. Ziva David waited in silence. It hurt her to see her friend like this. The doctor nodded at her process.

"We see the head Ms. Shepard just a little more"

Kate's POV

She grabbed Jenny's hand again as she screamed out. She could see how scared she was that she wasn't strong enough and Kate began to worry until she heard a small cry and Jennifer Shepard relax.

"Hold her ple-" Jenny said before she fell into a deep sleep.

Kate felt guilty being the first one to hold the child. She also felt bad that the other Israeli woman had not been chosen. The doctor handed her the baby. **_She_** was one of the most beautiful children Kate ever laid eyes on.

Kate couldn't help herself. She picked up her cell phone and called Tony and Abby. They'd both known Jenny for a short time. She debated whether or not to call Gibbs. And then she did...

* * *

Jenny woke up to silence and got fearful when she didn't see her child. Ducky walked into the room swiftly closing the door behind him.

"Beautiful child" he said softly.

seeing that he was trying to get into a conversation she turned her mind to Kate and asked for her.

"Jethro has the right to know he-" he said.

"NO!" Jenny said loudly. "I don't want him to know yet. Now get Kate in here"

"Jennifer you can't possibly expect me to keep your child from Jethro."

"Kate"

" Jennifer -"

"KATE!" she screamed and Kare rushed in the room. Jenny's blood pressure rose.

She wanted Jethro to know so much. She wanted him to hold her in his arms, make love to her after the child was asleep. But she just couldn't do it. She couldn't tell him. And she didn't want someone else to tell him. She wanted to be the one to tell him but it was just so d*** difficult.

She noticed that Kate didn't have her child. She knew Ziva wouldn't have her. So who the h*** had her child? She screamed one time for her child before she became to exhausted and fell asleep calming both Kate and Ducky.

She woke up to the soft cry of her child. She looked for Kate but she couldn't find her. She looked for her child. But she couldn't see it. She was still unaware of the gender but she had the feeling it was a girl. By the cry i guess. Or maybe it was just mother's intuition.

And then she saw a shadow come into the room holding a baby. A girl who was more beautiful than the sunset. Not bothering to see who was holding her child she reached out her hands to take the child, Her child. The figure handed her over.

"Thank-you Kate" Jenny said not taking her eyes off the baby she cradled in her arms. Then she noticed the figure was bigger than Kate. She starred harder until she knew she recognized this person well.

"Jethro" she said half surprised half afraid of his answer. She couldn't believe Ducky had called him. And yet she was so happy he was here because she needed the help. She should've known she would need help. She waited for him to start arguing or screaming as she dreamed it would be. And his answer was the most surprising thing she couldn't help but to...

* * *

A/N: The next chapter will be longer.

**Next Chapter**

**Will Jethro help out with the child?  
**

**What will her name be?  
**

**What will Jenny do when she finds out Kate was the one who called Jethro?  
**

**Read on!  
**


	3. Friends And Enemies

A/N: I've always been very fond of Ari. I wondered what it would've been like if he didn't kill Kate.

Previous chapeter

_His answer was so surprising she couldn't help but to..._

This chapter:

Smile. His answer was so surprising she smiled. "Gotta make a rule about dating co-workers" he said and seeing the smile on her face he smirked. "what's today?" he asked.

"The 12th" she replied.

"Then it'll be rule number 12."

They let a silence enter before Jenny spoke again.

"Do you want to hold her?" She asked.

"Depends"

"on what?"

"On if she's mine"

Jenny smirked. "I hope she's yours or I'll have to tell the father"

She handed him the baby as he took her accepting the fact that he was a father again.

"Are you gonna be ok with it being a girl?" Jenny asked bring up the fact that Jethro might not be over Kelly. But he only could smile at her remark. He loved Shannon and kelly. But the woman in front of him was his true love right now. In fact if he had the chance to exchange Jenny for Shannon and this little girl for Kelly he wouldn't. It was hard knowing he was letting them go and letting Jenny take over his life in the sweetest way.

"I'm glad it's a girl" He said matter of factly.

"I want to go home" She said seeing the doctor was there behind Jethro. She wondered how long he stood there.

"you can if someone stays with you at all times" He said looking at Jethro.

"At all times? I can do that" he said and Jenny elbowed him hard for the sexual remark even though she found it rather cute.

"Ok just sign these release papers" he said handing Jethro papers. "Have you two decided on a name yet" Jenny shook her head.

"Come back when you do" he said accepting a signed paper from Gibbs.

Standing up Jenny nearly collapsed holding onto him for support. Her legs were really weak and he put one of her arms over his shoulder. He walked her out where so many people were waiting. Tony, McGee, Kate, Ziva, Abby, Cynthia, Ari, Tom, Stan, Eli, Noemi, and Melvin her driver. Seeing them she smiled. Kate walked up to her.

"we'll visit when you are ready" she said.

All Jenny could say was thank-you before Jethro helped walk her outside of the hospital. She had a lot of trouble walking.

"You need me to carry you" he asked innocently.

"No" she said although her legs were killing her. They walked in silence to the car and stayed silent until they made it to her house.

* * *

Trying to unlock the door she dropped the keys. Before she could pick them up Jethro did and he unlocked the door. She felt her eyes water because she couldn't even open her own door and he could with a baby in his hands.

She nearly passed out on the couch but stayed awake so Jethro couldn't tease her for falling asleep later.

"I'll take the baby to her room" he said softly. The room was yellow with pink butterflies around the walls. He placed the child in her crib. He saw jenny was still on the couch tired. He helped her up and walked her into the bedroom. He smiled when she fell asleep because she looked so peaceful. He crawled into bed next to her and ran his fingers through her hair. She smiled.

An hour later Jethro Gibbs awoke Jenny still asleep beside him. He heard a knock on the door. He fixed his hair and walked over opening it to see Ziva and Ari two people he didn't know.

"Yes" he asked.

"Ziva David" said the Israili woman. "Ari Haswari. We are friends of Jenny"

"she's asleep" Gibbs answered gruffly.

"May we come in" The male she called Ari asked.

Gibbs hesitated but then slightly nodded moving to let them in.

When they walked in Jenny walked out of the bedroom looking very tired. She smiled at their arrival. Ziva held out her hand for a polite hand shake. She didn't know Jenny well enough to hug her. Ari however wrapped her shaking body in his arms before kissing her cheek.

"where's Tali" Jenny asked softly wishing to see the 16 year old.

"Tali died this morning" Ziva said no pain noticable.

"I am so sorry" Jenny said softly.

"Tali Alyssa David" Ari said. "Is our sister"

Gibbs nodded no longer confused on who Tali was and how her death would affect them.

"I'll name the child after her" Jenny said. "Alyssa"

Ari seemed to like this idea. "Alyssa Kate" Jenny said finally. She had loved the care Kate had givin her and she knew Tali would be deeply missed by her family. The name was very pretty in her opinion even Gibbs seemed to like it. But Gibbs didn't like Ziva. Ari seemed like a kind man. But Ziva was silent and cold. She didn't even seem to care that her sister was dead.

"I guess we should leave you two be" Ari said at last.

Ziva stood up and followed Ari out. Gibbs looked at Jenny. "I work with Ziva. Ari's her half brother" she said seeing the question deep in his eyes.

He wanted to kiss her. Hug her again because he loved her so much. She beat him to it though slowly tilting her head to where her lips were about an inch from his. Then she turned away and smiled in an embarrassed way as her cheeks flushed in a dark shade of pink.

"Jen" he said giving one last effort to kiss her again. And this time she gave in feeling his soft lips on hers. She made the kiss deep and slow moving her head in circles to get closer. One of her legs wrapped around his. They didn't even hear agent Todd come in the room. She grabbed the back of his neck pulling him closer to her to get a better taste of his mouth.

Kate coughed so they would notice her before things got to far and they jumped off each other in surprise. "Sorry" she said. "I can come again if you want"

Jenny's cheeks flushed once again embarrassed she'd been caught like that. If it ever happened again she's lock the doors so nobody would enter.

"that would be best" Jenny said at last. "I'll walk you out"

Her and Kate walked to the door before Kate turned around. "Good luck" she said a hint in her voice of what she had just witnessed.

After closing and locking the door Jenny turned around in order to finish what hey had started.

She began to kiss him again and lifted her head up so he could softly kiss her collar bone. She then walked him to the bedroom keeping their kissed every step of the way. She giggled as he pushed her down.

He lifted her shirt over her head before his. Kissing him more she struggled with his pants button and pulled his pants off. He pulled her skirt off along with her lacy panties.

She pushed him over to the other side before tearing off his boxers with her tiny fingers. He popped her bra and threw it across the wall. Her legs wrapped around his body as he entered her causing her to scream. He kissed her deeply in order to silence her. "Jen" he mumbled across her stomach as he kissed her there.

She no longer cared that their relationship in Paris ended, only his lips on her mattered. His lips moved up nibbling her breasts until she pulled his face but to her lips and kissed him hard. She loved him. And that's what really mattered to her.


	4. Code Blue

**A/N: Once again just letting you know i love Ari and in this he is dangerous but not scary. Don't worry though for those who are upset that Gibbs doesn't like Ziva. Things are awkward for a while but it'll get easier.**

_Previous chapter_

_She loved him and that's all that really_ mattered

This chapter

Alyssa Shepard is one now Jenny thought to herself. She had dark brown hair a lot like Jethro's had been before it grayed. She had hazel eyes much like her mother's although her mother's were more green.

Alyssa was a very smart child. Even though she was young she consumed some English.

Jenny wished Gibbs was here but he was working. He had tried to get a day off from NCIS but there was no such luck. She was joining NCIS again or so she hoped by the time little Alyssa was two. She heard a knock on the door. She kissed Alyssa's head and walked over to it. Opening it she saw Tony and Abby. She smiled and moved to the side letting them in.

"I cannot believe she's one and like i hardly know her well i mean i know her because Gibbs only talks about her like all the time and how big she is but I've only seen her like twice and that's not enough but maybe when she gets to know me she'll like me and i'll get to spend a lot of time with her. That is if i can ever get off work which probably will never happen because on Monday i work until... Oh My Goodness" Abby said stopping short to see little Alyssa.

This was probably the strangest person Alyssa ever saw in her life. She had pigtails which Alyssa liked but her hair wasn't long enough for pigtails yet. She wore a tiny skirt and a skull shirt.

"Hi I'm Abby" she said calmly bending over to get a better look at the child.

"Ayssssa" the girl said trying to pronounce her name correctly. She held her hand to her heart as she'd seen Ziva do when she introdused herself.

"Alyssa" her mother corrected.

"Alyssssa" she said again a smile piercing her face as she saw Tony.

"DINOSSSSO" she screamed trying to use the name her father used. "DINOSSSSO! DINOSSSSO!" She screamed happy to see him.

"Guess she chose her favorite" Jenny said smiling.

"gif?" she said in attempt to say gift. Jenny's cheeks flushed as her child asked. "Alyssa..." she said warning her daughter.

But Abby of course brought gifts. She pulled out a few hair clips with fake black roses on them and some clothes.

She giggled as the little girl fiddled with it trying to pop it in her hair. Jenny helped her and made her look great. She smiled.

Tony seemed to hint to the other room. "Can I have a minute" he asked very serious. Jenny gave her daughter a final look before nodding at Abby leaving her daughter in her hands.

"Is everything ok" Jenny asked scared that her friend needed a moment alone with her.

"The boss has been injured" he said avoiding eye contact from her.

"Jethro" she said tears swelling up in her eyes. She blinked them back biting her lip in order to seem very strong. "Um what... what can i do to help" she asked still in tears.

Tony had never seen her hurt before especially not in tears. He hoped she wouldn't cry because he hated it when women cried. Instead he just looked as if he couldn't think of a possible thing she could do to help.

"You could leave Alyssa with someone who's not busy. Come see him" Tony said at last. Even if it didn't help it was still better then nothing and it couldn't hurt.

"What's his condition" she asked. She wasn't sure he wanted to know but part of her just needed to know the chances of him coming back to her. And even if the results were bad she needed top know. For Alyssa and whoever watched over her. What if he died? There was no way she could take care of Alyssa by herself. And what would she tell the poor girl? She'd never see her father again. And Jenny'd never see the love of her life again. She'd never feel him near her. Never tease him...

"In a small coma" Tony said. "should wake up but since we'll never sure i just thought you should know. Abby doesn't know yet. Today was supposed to be her perfect day with Alyssa. I didn't want to crush it" he said.

She grabbed her cell phone.

"Shalom" answered the other end.

"Ari it's Jen" she said trying to hide the pain from her voice.

"Jenny i hope to hear you are well" he said.

"Very"

"wonderful."

"But Jethro's not. He was injured. Trauma one. I need someone to watch over Alyssa if you wouldn't mind."

"Of course"

"Thank-you Ari I owe ya"

"Shalom Jenny"

She hung up. "Can you stay with her until he gets here?" she asked Tony. He nodded happy to be asked such a task. "I think she likes me" he said and Jenny cracked a small smile knowing her daughter loved Tony and that his name contained DINO in her version of speech.

Arriving at the hospital she saw the nurse. The nurse was blonde blue eyed very young. "You must be Jenny Shepard" she said softly. Jenny jumped at the sound of her name.

"A man called Ari Haswari. Said you were his wife"

Jenny nodded. Thank god Ari had called or she would've forgotten to act like Gibbs's wife and wouldn't have been allowed in trauma one. "2nd door to the left" she said. Jenny nodded and hurried into Trauma one. When she ran in Jethro's room she saw his fragile body lying here. She'd never seen him in this much pain. Even though he showed no emotion she could just tell that he was in pain.

She put her hand in his and squeezed it trying to let him know she was there. She waited there a few hours before she fell asleep. She dreamed of him dying only to wake to the code blue of her lover.


	5. The Past Can Be Forgotten

A/N: Trying to get this up fast since the last chapter had a cliff hanger. This one's a little sad but forgive me it'll get better.

_Previous chapter_

_She dreamed of him dying until she awoke by the code blue coming from her lover._

This Chapter

"We got a code blue" said one of the nurses. Jenny couldn't help to cry as her partner sat there lifeless. Was she dreaming? No this was very real. She moved away from the nurse making sure she stayed out of their way. "Jethro please" she said but her sentence was cut off by her tears. "I can't do this alone" she said. She clutched his hand harder. "Come back" she barely whispered because she couldn't get herself to say it louder.

* * *

Ari Haswari held the child's hand as she walked across the street. He smiled as she mumbled different words under her breath. Words like candy or Dino. Suddenly she stopped short dead in her tracks. "Where Dada?" she asked softly. "Mama?"

Ari only smiled. "It's okay little one" he said grabbing her hand.

"I thinn dada neeee helk" she said trying to say she thinks dada needs help.

Ari frowned at the girl. How had she known Gibbs was in trouble? "You father will be fine. But if you don't hurry i most definitely will not be buying candy for you" he said trying to bribe her. She then shrugged it off grabbing his hand again and skipping along. But Ari couldn't get over that strange feeling something bad was going to happen.

* * *

Jenny cried for him to come back but it was as if he didn't want to. Nothing they were doing was working. Nothing they did seemed to affect his well being. And with this she just cried. She cried until she felt the soft beating of his heart appear on the screen. The doctors relaxed and smiled at one and another at their success. Jenny looked around. She had really thought Jethro was going to die right there in front of her. But with happy tears in her eyes he exhaled in a smile satisfied with how the situation ended out.

Only a few minutes later his eyes fluttered open trying to see. He saw the love of his life standing over him. "Jen" he mumbled. "No it wasn't supposed to happen like this. The bullet was supposed to..." and he stopped seeing the confusion in her eyes.

" you - you were shot on purpose" she asked withdrawing her hand from his.

"Jen -" he started but she didn't give him a chance to finish.

"Why" she asked. "Just tell me why"

"I didn't want you to get hurt" he said. "I didn't want my girls taken away from me again"

"So you thought dying would be best for me and Alyssa? D*** it Jethro I can hardly do this with you here much less with you gone, what were you thinking?"

He went to reply a smart remark but none came to mind. "I killed Shannon and Kelly" he said.

"You didn't"

"They needed me and I wasn't there"

"you're here now. If they wouldn't have died you wouldn't have Tony, Kate, McGee, Abby, me, or Alyssa."

"What if I'm not there when you need me Jen?"

"I don't know. But I'd rather die then see you on that table without a pulse -" she swallowed down her words in order to stop herself from crying. But it was ever so true. She'd rather die in the worst way then see him like that.

"I tried to give up" he said

She could only nod. But she felt betrayed. Upset. He had tried to leave her on her own because he was scared for her. A voice in her head mumbled a solution but she shoved it back. It was the worst idea but maybe the only one that would work.

"I can tell Ari to bring Alyssa" she said trying to push her idea to the back of her head.

"No... Let's go home Jen"

* * *

Alyssa stared at her mother and father as they came into the house. She wasn't sure where they had went but her dad didn't look to well. She still had the lollipop in her mouth Ari had bought her.

"Thank-you Ari" she said looking at the smile on her child's face. "I should pay you" She reached for her pocket-book.

He grabbed her hand and lowered it. "It's a pleasure" he said.

"Oh Ari could you take Alyssa to Kate's place please. I asked her to watch over her until Jethro gets better."

"No problem. Come on darling let's go see Kate"

"KATE!" the little girl screamed.

"Guess I should tell Dinozzo he isn't the favorite anymore" Gibbs said a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Ari and Jenny smiled before he took Alyssa and left taking her to see Kate.

When Gibbs heard the door closed he looked at Jenny. "Go to bed" she said.

"NO"

"Wasn't a question agent Gibbs"

He flinched as she called him this.

"Jen" he said reaching a hand out to her.

She flew her hand back. "Don't touch me" she spat. "Don't call me Jen either it's Jenny and she's telling you to go to sleep"

"Stop" he said upset at the way she was acting to him.

"STOP?" she snapped. "I expect you to come home to me every night to rock **_my_** child and the fact that you jumped in front of a bullet in order to save me from something that might never happen is bull" she couldn't look him in the eye even though she knew she was right.

"I know Jen." was all he could say for himself.

She gave up with being upset. "It's just that I rely on you now and I - I don't want you to go" she said nearly crumbling apart. He wrapped his arms around her shaking body. "It's ok Jen" he said at last in her ear before she broke down in tears.

When they pulled away from each other she smiled.

"you forgive me yet" he asked impatiently.

"No. Not yet. But I will" she said knowing that she would forgive him in a matter of days.

He kissed her on the lips softly and she kissed him back. He reached for her pants button but she stopped him short.

"No Jethro. I don't want this to go to the bedroom. I just want it to be special." she said.

"works for me" he said. He kissed her again lips locking., It was the kind of kiss that usually led to sex but this time she just wanted it to be like the first kiss. Meaningful and important. Because she knew what she was going to do tonight. And how much it hurt her she knew it was her only option. "Now go to bed" she said after their kiss was finished.

"See you in the morning" he said and slowly left. She went into her study. Got out a pen and a sheet of paper. She needed to tell him why but as her mind thought word to word tears swelled up in her eyes to where she couldn't see what she was writing. So she stopped and pulled out her gun. It was the only way she could stop Jethro from hurting himself again. She couldn't care for Alyssa on her own but Jethro could.

So she held the gun up to her head.

**NEXT CHAPTER**

**Will she or won't she?  
**

**Will Gibbs ever trust Ziva?  
**

**Who's the favorite Kate or Tony?  
**

**READ ON TO FIND OUT.  
**


	6. Trigger

A/N: I usually don't write flashbacks but it's important to her choice on pulling the trigger. Oh and in this version her father killed himself no suspicions. i do apologize. This one is to my top reviewer for the moment 'left my heart in Paris'. I appreciate it really. Sadly this is my last chapter for the day i will write maybe 2 over the course of the week and maybe 6 over the weekend.

_Previous Chapter_

_She put the gun up to her head._

This chapter

Jenny Shepard had the gun to her head but she couldn't help remembering her dad. She was older when he died but she felt like a little girl again. She hated him for pulling the trigger. Hated that he'd leave her. Could she do that to Alyssa?

She shook her head. She had to do this for Alyssa and Jethro so he wouldn't hurt himself. Her finger grazed the trigger. And she clamped her eyes shut.

* * *

Jethro lie there in the dark waiting for Jen to come to bed. He couldn't sleep unless he knew that she was safe. But he had this gut feeling in his stomach that something was wrong. He stood up and walked around trying to find where she had gone. When he noticed the study door was shut he frowned because he didn't like her to be unseen. He loved her and needed to make sure she was okay.

He walked up to the door and hesitated. But when he twisted the doorknob it didn't turn. It was locked. And then he knew. He just knew what was going to happen.

"Jen open the door" he said calmly.

* * *

She heard his voice through the door and cried more. She just couldn't open the door. She loved him so she had to do this. It was her only option.

"I can't Jethro" she cried out. "I can't see you like that again"

"You won't Jen I promise" he said.

She fell to her knees unable to support herself. She couldn't breathe. "I - I love you" she said. And she meant it with all of her heart. So she needed to pull the trigger. If she really loved him she'd pull the trigger. She wouldn't be a coward. She had to save him from something dangerous. And if this was the only way then so be it.

* * *

He picked at the lock carefully his hands shaking. He knew if he didn't get in there she'd pull the trigger. And he'd just found true love again. He couldn't lose her too. He should've died. Now he had to save her because of something he had done. Just like he'd had to do with Shannon and Kelly.

"Jen don't" he said finally popping the lock and slowly entering the room. She was on her knees crying the gun up to her head. He could tell her mind was made up though as she looked up in surprise.

"Get out" she said.

"Jen please just calm down. It's not gonna happen again. I promise...please"

She froze and in that one second he quickly pulled the gun away from her. She didn't struggle with it like he thought she would. He kicked the gun to the other side of the room in order to help her up.

She wrapped her arms around him buried her face in his shoulder. Why had she done that? Why was she about to let go of everything, cause Jethro and Alyssa the worst day of their lives?

He held her head to his shoulder. "I got you. You're safe now" he said into her ear. He could feel her crying against him. He didn't want to lose her ever again. He understood why she'd done it. He'd done the same thing. They'd done it to protect each other from something worse then bullets. From guilt. If she ever died he'd never stop blaming himself. They'd both done a selfish act. He held her until she calmed down and carried her to bed where they both lied there for an hour in silence before he heard her deep breathing.

* * *

Kate Todd knocked on the door and waited a minute before Jenny answered it.

"Kate! Come on in"

Kate smiled and entered the room. "You're little one doesn't sleep." she said and Jethro smirked. "I had to bribe her with candy" she smiled.

Alyssa rambled on about what she did. "Mama Mama Aunthie Kate got candy nd cohes. We got ithcrem nd ssssmily fasssse ssssstikas" Jenny smiled understanding every word her daughter said while Jethro seemed puzzled.

Kate smiled. "I guess i am the favorite" she said. Jenny smiled. Alyssa ran off to her room still babbling about the time she had with Kate. Kate pulled her over to the side.

"Are you okay?" Kate asked her redheaded friend.

"Fine" Jenny said softly but really she wanted to tell Kate everything that had happened.

"You're bruised" she said lifting her arm where Jethro knocked the gun out of her hand.

"Oh that's nothing" Jenny said.

"Come on Jen I hope you don't take me for an idiot. I'm your friend girl you can tell me secrets." Kate said wanting to know more about what had actually happened.

But Jenny just nodded. "It's good to know someone's looking after you" she said sad that Kate couldn't know the truth.

Kate smiled. She liked that Jenny thought of her as a friend. Jethro entered but then left when he heard the door bell ring.

Seeing the Israeli he hesitated. He didn't trust her at all. She cleared her throat before asking to be let in. Gibbs really didn't like her around his daughter. At first he hadn't liked Ari around her but a part of him liked Ari now. But not Ziva. He truly hesitated before letting her into his home watching her every move.

"We have company, make it quick" he said and her face tightened trying to get through his remarks without breaking any of his bones.

"I came to ask you a question" she said.

He stared at her for more information.

"Are you planning to propose to Jenny"

A/N: I might write another tonight if you want. Let me know and I'll consider it. I love the reviews and since I'm only typing for you guys the more i see the more i'll write tonight. Over the week I'll be busy so unless you don't wanna know the answer until next week I'd review. Thanks for those who review anyway beside the bribes. 143


	7. Bete Noir

A/N: Sorry to disappoint.

Gibbs shook his head. "We're not together"

Ziva shrugged. "You seem to be. I mean you live with her. You are the father to her child Alyssa yes? You seem to love her and she is a redhead which i have heard that you love."

"I'm only living with her until she can manage on her own. I'm doing it for Alyssa not Jen and not me" Gibbs answered. He didn't like how she was all up in his business but he could tell if he said anything and she went off she actually had a chance of winning. Another thing Gibbs didn't like about her, her reflexes.

"Well you are at least sleeping with her yes?" Ziva said struggling to hold onto conversation. She wanted to know if he cared for her like Jenny thought he did.

"What do you want" he said trying to get off this topic.

"So you are sleeping with her. Around Alyssa?" She tsk-tasked with her tounge. "Naughty"

"You wanna talk with her" Gibbs asked.

Ziva shook her head. "Just to you. Because apparently to her you two love each other which means you are together in her eyes. maybe you mean more to her then you realize" she said. "Ari will be stopping by later" she said with that being her final remark she left slamming the door closed behind her. Even though she was gone the words struck Gibbs hard. Maybe Jenny did care for him more than he knew.

* * *

A year later...

Alyssa screamed as Tony walked through the door. "DINOSAUR!" she said. She'd heard her friend use the word and she was convinced it was Tony's name. Well for a two-year old she did pretty good putting the two words together.

She wrapped her arms around his legs. "You're mom told me I'm not the favorite" Tony said acting as if he was really hurt that we wasn't the favorite anymore.

"You always be myyyy favorite" she said.

Kate's eyes widened at the sound of that. "WHAT?" she asked and Tony smiled at how personal she took the comment. "Nothing Aunt Kate" she said innocently looking down at her feet. But tony only smiled. Kate had to get him back for this. But before she could Jenny came into the room calmly. "Thanks for stopping - WHOA" she screamed as Jethro's hands wrapped around her waist. "JETHRO" she shouted.

Tony and Kate exchanged an awkward glance.

"You two need to get a room" Tony said immaturely.

"MMMMMMHHHHMMMM" Alyssa said agreeing even though she had no idea what it meant. Didn't Mommy ad Daddy already have a room? But she always agreed with what Dinosaur said because he was very nice to her when she did. "Mommy daddy get a room!" she said. Jenny's eyebrows went up high in surprise. Gibbs smirked. She was going to say that forever now.

Kate smiled trying to cover up Alyssa's screw up with coping Tony.

"Alyssa don't you **_ever_** say that again, understand?" Jenny said strictly.

"Aww come on Jen" Gibbs said "She's little"

Jen shrugged as if she didn't care. "Fine but when other parents hear her say that **YOU** will be the one to tell them exactly why you're 2-year-old is talking about that subject. You can also explain Mr. Dinosaur here telling our daughter her parents need a room."

Gibbs nodded. "Listen to your mom" he said calmly.

* * *

After putting Alyssa to bed she turned to Jethro. "I'm scared" she said.

"Of what" he asked

"Of this" she said turning away trying to avoid his eyes burning into hers. "What if it doesn't work between us? What will happen to Alyssa?"

"Nothing's gonna happen Jen. Not to us not to anyone." he said.

She nodded. "Ok" she said at last. "I'm holding you to that no matter how much you bribe me" she said smiling.

"I'd do that?" he asked leaning over to kiss her.

"In a heartbeat" she mumbled before their lips combined.

She ran into the bedroom and tried to playfully lock the door but he slid in right when she did. She squealed running to the bed. He fell on top of her holding up his weight with his arms so he wouldn't squish her frail form.

"Mama?" she heard a voice coming from the door in the middle of a kiss from Jethro. They jumped apart like guilty teenagers. "What are you doing" she asked quietly wondering why they'd been in bed together.

"Dada was just tucking me in like I tuck you in" Jenny lied trying to erase the thoughts from her daughter's mind. Her daughter seemed a little suspicious. "Then why was he kissing you momma?"

Jenny hesitated trying to come up with a good reason. "Dada was kissing me like I kiss you. So that I'm not afraid" she lied. But her daughter excepted the explanation since she couldn't come up with any others on her own. "Mama can you come to bed with me untiw I faw asweep." she asked her Ls turning into Ws because of how tired she was.

"Sure Honey" she said grabbing her daughter's hand. "Night Dada" she said.

"Night" he said sad to see Jenny leave the room with his daughter. He felt alone with them gone. He didn't want anything to ever happen to them like something happened to Shannon and Kelly.

Walking her child to her room Alyssa blabbed about Dinosaur. She mostly mentioned different kinds of candy and cakes Tony would give her. Jenny grabbed her little girl and put her in her bed. Alyssa usually would fall asleep quickly but this time she seemed concerned or confused. It worried Jenny to see her child wasn't falling asleep like she usually did.

"Mommy" she said at last.

"Yes darling" Jenny responded glad that her daughter knew she was here in case she was scared she had left.

"Why aren't you and Dada married?" she asked.

"How do you know we aren't married?"

"Dinosaur told me about marriage mommy. He said you'd have a ring." she said bluntly.

_D*** you DiNozzo _Jenny thought to herself. "Ummm well we aren't ready for marriage yet" she answered.

"You love Dada though right?"

"Of course."

"So when are you going to get married?"

"Discuss that with your father" Jenny said holding back a smile imagining Jethro's face when little Alyssa asked that question.

"So why aren't Auntie Kate and Dinosaur married" she asked holding onto the last bit of hope that maybe someone she knew was going to get married because they loved each other.

"I don't know" Jenny whispered even though she knew exactly why. They weren't in love. Unless she missed over something completely.

"Goodnight mummy" the little girl said sleepily.

"Goodnight"

Jenny waited until her little girl was nearly passed out before she left. Jethro was waiting for her outside the door. She wondered if he had heard the conversation about marriage. But he seemed normal not hearing anything at all.

"Now..." he started. "Where were we?"

She smiled kissing him until they wanted more than kisses.

* * *

Kate Todd entered the room with little Alyssa playing with Tony.

"Jenny's giving us the day off." she said annoyed that she liked Tony better.

Tony smiled. "Alright kiddo" he said rubbing her head. "Come on Kate let's go get some coffee" he said. Kare shrugged and followed him.

* * *

An hour later Jenny got a call from Kate. She'd been watching Alyssa for the past hour alone while Jethro was at work. Kate called her cell phone. She seemed awfully excited but Jenny couldn't understand a word she was saying. She thought she'd wait for Kate to calm down but when she heard the other part of the line go dead she just looked confused and set the phone down.

Alyssa looked at her mother's confused face and smiled. "Dinosaur asked Auntie Kate to marry him" she said softly. "He told me it was a secret"

Jenny smiled to know her friend was getting married. She heard the phone ring and picked it up to hear Jethro's voice on the other end.

"Hey Jen" he said softly but she could tell part of him was upset.

"You alright" she asked concerned that he called from work.

"I'm needed to work an undercover assignment. It'll take a few days. You alright with that?" he asked. He knew she'd be upset but she had been an agent before so she had to understand.

"You'll come home?" she asked.

"Yeah"

"Promise"

"You know I can't do that Jen"

"Yeah I know"

"I love you" he said. He didn't mean it as an I LOVE YOU. Just as a goodbye over the phone.

She knew he'd only meant goodbye but it affected her. Her eyes teared up and Alyssa saw her. "I- love you Jethro" she said and afterwards he hung up not knowing what to say about the last comments.

* * *

_LOVELOVELOVE_

-2 days later

It was late as Jenny Shepard cleaned up her daughters mess about 4 hours after she went to bed. She didn't want to be in bed without Jethro. Twice already she'd fallen asleep on the floor and had only slept for a few hours.

She heard a knock on the door and got up to answer it. She withdrew her weapon. It was almost 1 o' clock in the morning. She didn't know who would be there. She swung the door open only to see Ari there.

"Jenny please. Do not embarrass yourself" he said coming inside. "I understand your need for concern"

She chatted with Ari for a while before hearing a piece of glass break and Alyssa scream for her. At first Jenny did not know what to do. But Ari did. He rushed upstairs to see what had happened.

* * *

His job was finished. We hadn't promised Jenny he was coming home but he felt like he had and had kept that promise.

He was going to surprise her tomorrow.

Which is why he was pretty surprised when he got a phone call from her this early in the morning.

"Jen what the h*** are you doing up?" he asked.

"Jethro I need you" she said.

He smiled knowing this would happen. "Yeah Jen I'll be there in a few more days" he lied trying to get her off his trail.

"NO!" she yelled into the phone. "I NEED YOU NOW" she nearly screamed.

He ran out of NCIS Tony and Kate following him knowing there was trouble. It was like one of those heroic movies when the man runs to save his woman, although in this version Gibbs didn't come empty handed.

He stayed on the phone with Jenny making sure whatever was bothering her didn't get her or make her do something stupid if she was just losing her mind over all the stress he had caused her these last few days. Getting to the door he kicked it down in order to get to her quickly. The bathroom door was shut and locked.

"Jen it's me" he mumbled .

She flew the door open and into his arms crying more then ever. More then he'd seen her do when she nearly pulled the trigger. He saw the gun in the bathroom lying on the floor as he moved over to the couch having her sit down. Tony and Kate followed still in silence not sure what to make of the situation.

"What's wrong Jen?" he asked putting his hand on her thigh. She screamed at the touch of his hand and he moved it away surprised of her reaction. He saw Ziva come into the room Ari close behind her guns out and fully loaded. Seeing Jethro there they put them away scared of what he would do with them breaking in guns out.

He noticed she was a mess black make-up sliding down her face, lipstick around her mouth her clothes wrinkled and out of order. He didn't know what but something was not right.

"Tell me what happened Jen" he said softly placing his hand on hers. She flinched but it felt good with him there beside her.

"I- I think" she said slowly fighting back her tears with all of the might she still had in her embarrassed that she was crying in front of all of these people.

"I think I was raped" she said falling into the deep arms of her lover.

A/N: Yeah kinda blew away the 3000 words thing. Sorry if i disappoint. Please review with opinions ideas and I'll do the best I can. Sorry for the cliffhanger.


	8. The Arguing

He waited for her to fall asleep but she didn't for a long time. At first it was because of too many people in the room. She felt trapped as if everyone was waiting for her to fall asleep. So he asked everyone to leave except Kate. He wanted her their if Jenny needed some female support.

But she still couldn't sleep. So she drank. He watched her upset with her choice to most likely pass out. She drank until he told her to stop. And she still drank until he and Kate pried the bottle from her hands. Then she just screamed.

Screamed at them taking the bottle at first, then for Alyssa to be beside her. Then for the bottle again.

And then she just screamed over and over again in words neither of them could make out. Kate decided it was to much and ran to the store for something to make this girl sleep.

Jenny took the pills and when they didn't work she screamed for more. They didn't know what to do. Finally maybe 3 in the morning Jenny either passed out or fell asleep. Kate fell asleep soon after on the floor exhausted from taking care of her almost all night.

Gibbs however couldn't sleep. He blamed himself for this. Jenny's life will forever be ruined because he just had to go undercover on that stupid mission. It was just like how it had been with Shannon and Kelly. And he knew what he did to the man who killed them. He put a bullet in his head. So he would find this man and do the same.

Kate awoke about 2 hours later. Jenny awoke about an hour after Kate had. She remembered drinking and taking the pills. But she didn't do it in the morning. It was if she had forgotten. She went to make breakfast. After making breakfast and eating alone she did her laundry except for the clothes she was wearing the night before since they were evidence.

She called Tony to check on Alyssa and she was fine. She did her hair put on make up, and a jacket. She slipped on some heels and grabbed her purse.

"Where are ya goin" Gibbs asked seeing her get up and ready.

"To the store" she said softly. She hadn't talked to anyone all morning and you could hardly hear her when she did.

"Why?" he asked loudly.

She seemed frozen in place. For a second he thought all of time stopped but then seeing her move again he snapped out of these thoughts and back onto the question.

"We're out of... stuff" she said softly looking down to avoid his stare.

He smiled at her remark. "You want me to go with you?" he asked. "To get stuff"

But she shook her head not noticing his smile or him mocking her. He was worried about her ignoring the fact him and Kate were even there. But all she wanted was some time. Some time to add some things together and get her life back.

"You sure" he asked still hoping she might let him go.

Her eyes swelled up in tears. Tears she had been holding back all morning. Tears she just couldn't cry. Because she knew if she started crying she wouldn't stop. "I'm fine" she said turning to the door.

"You want Kate to go with you?" he asked grabbing her wrist. She flinched at his touch but didn't pull away or say anything. "I'd prefer to go alone" she said. She tried to pull away but he tightened his grip. He really didn't want her to go alone. She tried to pull away again.

"Jen..." he said his voice trailing off.

"Get the h*** off of me" she said her voice cold.

In surprise he loosened his grip, and in that second she pulled her hand out of his. She slammed the door shut as she ran to the car.

He swung the door open and went after her. He managed to get in the car right when she pulled away.

"Get out" she said stopping the car from moving.

"We need to talk Jen" he said softly.

"Talk my a** Jethro. Believe it or not I still have a life to live and_** I**_ know how to get it back." she snapped. "Now get out"

It hurt him to see her like this. But he had to stay because last time he left her alone to do something...

"You know I'm not leaving" he said rather loudly.

"D*** it Jethro i don't want to see you, or talk to you. I have things to do and your only, h*** you're only getting in the way." she said it louder then his last comment. She didn't know just how her words affected him though.

He knew she didn't want to talk to him. It was pretty obvious. "D*** it Jen I AM THE FATHER TO YOUR CHILD." he yelled at her. She leaned over to get out of the car.

"It was a mistake Jethro. This... her.. you...us. You don't understand."

"No" he said calming down.

"YOU TOLD ME NOTHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN" she screamed.

"I am not in control of the d*** situation Jen and I'm not the idiot who raped you" he said. As soon as the comment left his lips he regretted it. She had a reason to hate him and he had no reason to do this to her.

She left the car and leaned inside. "That's a load of sh** and you know it" she said before slamming the door in his face.

He only sat there a few minutes before going inside. Jenny had gone into her bedroom and didn't seem happy.

Kate looked at him insecurity in her eyes. "She told me to tell you she hated you." she said softly.

"Anything else?" he asked surprised jenny didn't lose any type of language. Maybe she did and Kate just didn't want to use it.

"She said to get the f out of her house" Kate said upset at the situation. You could hear her sadness in her voice. "And to never come back"

**"never"**

**A/N: The next chapter will take at least 2 reviews so please get on it!  
**

**Will Gibbs really leave?  
**

**What will happen to Alyssa?  
**

**Dinozzo and Kate?  
**

**Ziva?  
**

**READ ON TO FIND OUT!  
**


	9. Gone

He starred at her sleeping body. Her heavy breathing. God he missed the way she was before this. The kissing... the smiles... the laughter... the sex. He missed Jenny. He still saw her there but she seemed like a different person now. She was always angry and she flinched at everything. Due to their argument yesterday he didn't touch her at all.

"Why the h*** are you watching me" she asked noticing him there.

"Thought you were asleep" he said. No need to lie to her now.

"Jethro I-... You you were right" she said it softly but loud enough to be heard.

"You apologizing to me Jen?" he asked.

"No" she said very matter of fact. "You don't deserve all that"

"Then what are you saying... if you aren't apologizing"

"That you were right"

"About what?"

"About everything. I'm acting like in idiot and you know it Jethro..."

"I've had 3 ex-wives who were idiots" he joked.

With this she elbowed him the the stomach. "I know" she whispered in his ear.

He smiled. She fell back under the covers and exhaled. "Did they find him?"

"No FBI's handling the case think they've got some clues"

"I don't remember anything" she said. "Maybe I was drugged."

"Let's react it Jen. You might remember" he said.

"Is that a sex offer" she asked. He smirked.

"We'll stay fully clothed... if you wish"

"GOODNIGHT Jethro" she said flipping over in the covers.

"Night Jen" he said but it was so quiet only he had heard. He and Kate that is for she had been secretly watching them make up. If only they would make out. That'll be the day she thought.

* * *

A year later...

Alyssa got up the next morning so happy because today was the wedding! Dinosaur and Aunt Kate were out getting ready. Momma dressed in a blue low cut dress and wore make up to match. She had on some cute shoes and her hair was really curly. Dada was wearing a tux with a blue tie matching her dress.

"Momma wat am i gonna wear?" she asked softly. She had a lot of clothes but none that were fancy or nice for a wedding. When Momma pulled out a white shimmering dress the girl squealed. She changed into it quickly and let her mother fix her hair. "You the best mummy ever" Alyssa said.

"Just figuring that out now" She joked to her daughter.

Alyssa smiled. He leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek.

"I knew all along" he whispered into her ear.

She pulled away from him smiling. When they arrived at the wedding there wasn't much there. Abby, McGee, Ari, Ziva, Ducky, and Palmer were all there. They all looked wonderful.

The wedding was beautiful. There was a lot of alcohol but nobody drank much around Alyssa. Alyssa loved Bert the hippo. She thought it was a hilarious thing to have and seemed to LOVE Abby for having it.

* * *

Jenny lay down after the wedding. She was tired if anything. It was as if she couldn't feel anything at all. She jumped when she saw Jethro at the door.

"Scared the h*** out of me" she said sitting up.

He seemed frozen in place as if he wanted something he couldn't have or was to scared to ask for.

"Hungry" he asked softly.

I just ate she thought to herself but despite the thoughts she nodded. She knew he wanted to talk to her about something and it would be easier to handle over a meal rather then a bed.

She got up and walked to the kitchen taking out some left over steak and salad. After making each others plates and eating a bite or two he asked a question.

"How do you feel about sex Jen" he asked bluntly. No point in hiding it. Seeing her not respond he continued on his statement. "We're kissing now, sleep in the same bed. Next level is sex, you and I both know that."

She could feel the tears in her eyes and swallowed them off except for some. She was partially surprised at the question, but the other part of her knew he would bring it up some time or another.

"Ok" was her only response. "But you have to stop if i-" she stopped trying to push through. "If I can't handle it" she said softly.

"Fair enough" he said softly. He ate another piece of his meal starring at his lover.

"But not today" she said it gently but strong, sure of her strength against him in this conversation. She didn't really want to have sex but she loved him. And she just couldn't let this stranger ruin her life. Ruin _their_ lives. Seeing Alyssa in the room she jumped up.

"What are you doing here baby" she asked.

"Back to bed" the girl said running off.

"I'll go" Jethro said softly. "Go to sleep"

She nodded exhausted and went to the bedroom in hopes of falling asleep.

Seeing Alyssa he kneeled down so he could see her.

"Hey... what are you doing up?" he asked.

"Momma love you Dada" she said it softly as if she was trying to avoid the subject.

"That's good cuz-" but he was cut off.

"But you scary to me" she said softly. "Whenever Mamma mad or scared she kick you out"

He didn't say anything for that comment hurt. His own daughter hated him.

"But I love you Dada, you scary but I love you. So does Mamma. She love you a lot Dada, I wish you could see what I do" her words began to slur as she started to fall asleep. "She love you she love you she love you" the little girl mumble as she fell into a deep sleep.

Gibbs kissed his daughter's head and left still affected by her words. _I wish you could see what I do. _What did that mean? He wanted to talk to Jenny but walking into the bedroom he noticed she was fast asleep. He smiled.

She was dreaming. She knew that she was dreaming yet everything felt so real. She could see the people scattering by her. She felt like she was in the city but everyone was running a certain way. Should she run with them?

Instead she pushed past trying to find something. A clue to this crazy dream. But there was nothing. She waited for something to happen but nothing did. Nobody was there except her. Suddenly another woman appears. Red hair, very pretty.

There was something about her Jenny wanted to see but the woman faded away. And she woke up.

* * *

He woke up alone. Went to see Alyssa but she was gone. Maybe off to Pre-k? No today was Saturday. But she was gone and so was Jenny. There was a note. A letter.

_Dear Jethro,_

_**TO BE CONTINUED!**  
_

_**Next chapter  
**_

_**The letter?  
**_

_**Sex?  
**_

_**Finding the criminal?  
**_


	10. Dear Jethro

Dear Jethro,

I can't love you like this. I don't even think I can write this letter. I love you. I'm sure you know that but it's wrong. This life is so perfect but the last time it was this perfect I had to leave. In Paris. I hated myself for leaving you and I hate myself now. But there's nothing I can do and nothing you can do either to stop me, for I'm already gone.

I have Alyssa right now. She is scared of me I guess for tearing her life apart. I cannot take care of her but you can. Melvin will be dropping her off with you for the weekdays and the weekends. I love her so much but I can't care for her like you can. I'm sure she'll grow to be a beautiful young lady with her in your hands. With me she'll just turn into a fool like I am for everything.

This is my fault Jethro and I hate myself for doing it. But it's better. For her and for you. I love you and I always will. I hope you can find somebody else to help you. Someone who means the world to you. Someone like Shannon.

Jenny

**A/N: It isn't over! 4 more reviews for the next chapter. Thanks! xoxo**


	11. Shannon

**A/N: A little short I know but I only got 3 reviews not four. Next chapter takes 3 reviews. Thank you for those who are reviewing. It means a lot. Let me know any ideas you have or any of your stories and I'll check it out. With all love,**

**Sasha-038**

Melvin took the screaming little girl in his car but it wasn't easy. She didn't want to leave her mother and was willing to put up one good fight for it. Her mother however didn't shed a tear. She knew what was better for her daughter. As Melvin drove however the girl was silent just starring out the window as if she'd see something she'd recognize.

Jethro didn't know what to do. But whatever he did he needed to be strong about it. Strong for his job at NCIS. Strong for Alyssa, and of course Jenny because he needed her. He had 3 ex wives before but Jenny wasn't going to be one of them. Hopefully they'd never talk about marriage. But she'd always be there. And now that she was gone he didn't know what to do.

Seeing Melvin pull up and Alyssa jump out of the car. Melvin looked tired and exhausted from just driving her here. Gibbs gave him a tip even though Jenny paid him pretty nice money.

As soon as Melvin left Alyssa screamed. BUT she was happy. "Let's go get mommy" she said at last. "I watched outta the window. I know where she go" Alyssa screamed. Gibbs was satisfied with this little spy he had for a daughter. She was a gibblet. She already could talk and spy and she was three.

It was amazing to see how she remembered things. Little things like the coffee shop and after the coffee shop the building with a brick missing, and after the building a gas station with a certain type of music playing. All the way until they reached Jenny's house. It was small since her large house was where he was. She couldn't afford any more then that.

Gibbs suddenly felt terrible. Whatever he had done made her do this. Live in this little gross place, somewhere he never imagined Jenny would live. But at the least he had to know why she left him. Again.

Walking inside he heard her scream. "What the h*** are you doing here" she asked.

"I need to talk to you Jenny" he said.

"Take Alyssa up to bed." Jenny snapped in order to avoid conversation.

"Not here" he said.

* * *

After driving in an awkward car till they got home Jethro put Alyss to sleep they sat drinking bourbon silently. Most of the time silence with him wasn't silent but now? Heck it was awkward at the least.

"Care to share" Gibbs said at the sight of her troubled face.

"You told me you had a daughter" Jenny said softly.

"Kelly" he said even softer. He hated talking about her with anyone.

"Your ex-wives are named Dianne, Ginger, and Stephanie?" she asked.

"yeah"

"then who is Shannon?"

"Shannon?" he asked.

"Last night I woke up and you were drunk Jethro. Not drunk enough to lose control but drunk." She inhaled deeply.

"And we had sex. Willingly had sex. But you kept saying Shannon as my name"

He looked as though he was about to cry because he didn't know what to say. Why had he said Shannon. He loved Jenny now. More then anything. More then Shannon.

"Who is she?" Jenny asked nervous of his answer. "Ex, wife, girlfriend" she offered slightly tears swelling up in her eyes.

"She was my first wife. She died with Kelly" he said.

She nodded biting the inside of her bottom lip in order to stop herself from crying. How could he love her when he loved Shannon still. And how did he have room for Alyssa if he still loved Kelly. The only reason she even sent her to him is because she knew her life would be better that way. Alyssa's life. Not hers.

"Jen..."

"No" she said shaking her head. "No"

"I was drunk Jen" he said trying to cling onto her. He actually loved her.

"I'm leaving Jethro and I hope you don't try to stop me" she said loudly.

"You're not leaving"

"You gonna stop me"

"Yeah I am"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO LOVES SOMEBODY ELSE" she screamed.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LOSE YOUR WHOLE FAMILY AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO DOESN'T GIVE A D***" he shouted even louder.

"DOESN'T GIVE A D***?! I GAVE BIRTH TO A CHILD WHO WAS A MISTAKE! FOR YOU!"

And with that the little girl ran out of the room. The two of them were screaming so loud they didn't hear her. She ran to her room and cried. Not only were her parents arguing but she just learned something she was never supposed to know.

She was a mistake.


	12. A Heart for a Heart

A mistake. She didn't belong here. She wasn't part of her own life anymore. Because her mother had said it too. A mistake. The words ran through her mind ever since she heard her mother say it, which hadn't been long. A few months.

Jenny Shepard poured coffee for herself. And no one else. Because there was no one else to pour for. She hadn't seen Jethro in a matter of months. but she wanted to. She wished she could feel his hands on her waist or his smile when she said something funny or inappropriate. She missed sleeping next to him feeling him next to her.

It was hard to take care of Alyssa by herself but she had to. Or she could call Jethro. _No Jen _she told herself _because he loves Shannon not you._ She didn't know how to see him again. I mean they hadn't seen each other in 5 months maybe although it felt like five years to her. And she didn't know how to make up with him. They'd covered the basic ways and what now?

She heard Alyssa crying from the doorstep and she turned around. She had been unaware her child was awake much less crying.

"What's wrong Alyssa?" she asked. "Are you hurt"

Alyssa shook her head. "You drinkin coffee" the girl said softly.

Jenny didn't understand and Alyssa could tell so she started to explain.

"You and Dada drink coffee together. Now you drink alone. Me alone. Me want Dada." The little girl said.

Jenny could feel her heart drop out of her body and tears swell her eyes. "Me too" she said as soft as could be heard. She could try to stay strong. And she did.

"Good thing about Dada is he always forgive you mamma. Even after you told him I was a mistake." Alyssa smiled glad to tell her mother was changing her mind.

"He always forgive ya no matter how much you scream at him or what it's about" Alyssa went on. She was despite for her dad back and she could tell Jenny was too.

"Really?" Jenny asked but it sounded more of a statement.

"Well you start all the fights right momma?" she asked innocence on her mind. "Dada does som-in stupid and you get mad at him"

Jenny agreed but realized a few seconds before there was no way she was going to call him. Too many calls.

"Alyssa Dada can't forgive me yet" Jenny said.

"How much more time does he need!? You pretty mama really pretty, and you smart, and encouraging. You might be mean sometimes but that cuz you want what best for you and me. Dada's an idiot if he walks away from that" she screamed running to her room and slamming the door.

Jenny picked up her phone and called Tony to come over and watch Alyssa. He didn't mind watching her at all. Jenny grabbed her keys and with tears in her eyes she drove to the bar.

"Get me a bourbon" she said to the bartender. He nodded and placed another bourbon down next to her.

"Next one's gonna cost you your keys" he said handing her the drink.

She couldn't remember how much she drank but this bar was always cautions so she was sure she wasn't drunk yet.

"F*** it" Jenny said to him and he didn't make the drink she asked for. But she didn't mean the drink. She was upset at the familiar face walking through the bar doors. It was Jethro. Isn't it always.

Seeing she wasn't talking about the drink the bartender slid one down the long table and she caught it gracefully. Jethro sat down next to her but seemed to ignore her presence.

He ordered the same drink she had gotten and looked over at her. He could tell that half of her wanted him and the other half wanted to run out of this bar and never see his face again.

They didn't speak. Not for a long time as he starred at her.

"What" she finally said.

He didn't answer just starred at her more. Frustrated with his answer she got up to leave. But instead of watching her leave he softly grabbed her wrist. It wasn't hard or challenging to escape and he knew she could easily do it. He didn't want to hurt her. If this was his chance of getting her back he needed to be gentle. Very gentle and careful of his choice of words.

"Sit" he said as if he was talking to a dog.

She bit her lip and sat down in the chair. She saw her keys on the table. When did that happen? "Jethro I'm drunk" she said in order to let him know.

"I know" he said looking at her keys.

"So in case I say anything stupid" she said.

He smiled. Suddenly it was like the bar disappeared around them. He went for the gold. He leaned over and brushed his lips against hers. Then they kissed. He grabbed the back of her neck in order to get his tongue in her mouth tasting something he never thought he'd taste again.

Pulling away Jenny looked shocked. Part of her should've seen that coming. The other part of her knew there was no way to have seen it.

Jethro paid the man leaving a tip and walked out. He wasn't exactly satisfied with the night he had with Jenny, yet he was glad the way things turned out.

Jenny decided to watch him leave until she noticed there was something different about him. The way he had just kissed her. There was definitely something strange but Jenny couldn't seem to figure it out.

She called Ari and he drove her home. She told him about what had happened at the bar. He didn't push for the details he knew he could get from his drunk friend. He didn't want to take advantage of her. He noticed she was crying a little, unnoticeable. She angrily whipped the tears away from her.

After driving her home he and Tony said their goodbyes and left only minutes apart from each other. Tony went home to his wife who was now asleep, Ari to his sister as he thought deeply about how much Tali meant to him. And now she was gone.

Since she knew she was drunk she put Alyssa to sleep. Then she just cried for a while. She hated to cry she really did.

Jethro went in the basement to work on his boat. It had been a while since he faced the facts he and Jen were in war. He didn't want to fight her because he loved her. He missed Shannon and Kelly, he always would. But it was about time he moved on with his life. If he lost Jenny and Alyssa he'd never move on from them all. He had the perfect way to make up with Jenny just had to figure out how to do it.

**A/N: Sorry it has been so long for an update. 2 reviews are needed for the next chapter. Or 1 follow will do! You might hate me for the next chapter but it's coming. I hope it will be up soon. Tell me what you think about this, and give your ideas! Also send me your stories and I'll check them out!**

**with all love**

**-Sasha**

**NEXT CHAPTER**

**GIBBS AND JEN?**

**TONY AND KATE?**

**THE RAPIST IS BACK.**

**REVIEW AND READ ON!**


	13. POV

**A/N: This chapter is about different points of view of the different characters.**

****Kate:

Waking up next to him meant the world to her. Even though when they were awake they seemed like brother and sister together they made a cute couple. She slid on a shirt and some shorts to go to breakfast.

She remembered how Tony had left to go watch Alyssa. She wondered what had happened to Jenny and Jethro. She hadn't spoken to either of them in weeks. She ate some pancakes and grabbed her purse.

She wondered how jenny could wake up without her lover next to her as Kate couldn't imagine living without it. Why couldn't the two just realize they are perfect for each other and stop being so stubborn? She hadn't known either of them long before Jenny had Alyssa but Tony did. And she's his wife so she could manage to strangle any information from him about before she was an agent. She smiled at the thought of Tony being strangled for not telling her something.

Ari:

Couldn't help but to wonder how drunk Jenny had gotten. He was glad she was calm enough to call him. So she definitely couldn't be that drunk if she knew she shouldn't drive. Then again for some reason she knew she shouldn't drive which meant she was at least aware she was drunk. But she was focused on something. Or someone. What ever had happened in that bar last night had been important to her in some sort of way.

He heard his sister walk into the room. She was dressed nicely her hair pulled back into a tight yet fancy ponytail. She stood tall and fearless. Even though he was proud of his sister's strong attitude he wished he could see her smile. He hadn't seen her smile since Tali died. It was as if to her smiling was some kind of weakness. But his sister was so pretty when she smiled, he missed it.

"Get up" she said angrily. "We interrogate men today. Men involved in Tali's death"

Ari nodded slightly. "Ziva you know you can smile sometimes" he said

Ziva:

"Smile?" she snapped. "What is there to smile about? My mother is dead our sister died. We could've saved her Ari. We moved from Israel to protect each other. Now Tali is dead. You may smile but if I ever smile again I-" she stopped herself from going into a gory description of what would happen if she ever smiled again.

"Get dressed" she said coldly. There was no more to her life but horror and pain. You can't be happy.

Not as Ziva David.

**A/N: So that's a little special for those who want to know what's going on otherwise. Next chapter's coming soon.**

**With all love,  
**

**-Sasha  
**


	14. In Her Eyes

Alyssa had lost the light in her eyes. She was a dull child now. She no longer screamed when people she knew came into her house. Heck she hardly looked up.

She was four now and hadn't seen her father since. She could hardly remember what he looked like or what he sounded like. When ever she got hurt she'd sit there for an hour or so. Seeing this at first Jenny tried to help her daughter stand. Alyssa would stand up only to sit back down again. She didn't cry just sat. Starring into the darkness of her soul.

Jenny then pretended not to care. But Alyssa didn't want attention from her mother anymore. She wanted her father. Jenny knew this and didn't know what to do. Soon smiles faded, laughter disappeared, and those silly little girl moments were taken from her. When people tried to talk to her she'd walk away not bothering to pretend she knew what they were saying.

But now she wasn't eating. Jenny had tried everything. Chocolate, cakes, candy, and cookies but the girl would take it and throw it away no emotion on her face at all. It had been two days. Jenny tried force feeding her but she'd only casually take it out of her mouth walk over and throw it away. So Jenny was taking a new attempt.

"Eat it" She snapped angrily.

The girl starred at the plate as if it was some kind of book or paper. She didn't speak.

"NOW" Jenny said glaring at her daughter angrily. If she had to be the bad guy in this to keep her daughter alive she would.

Still and stubborn the girl lifted her head up. She looked like Ziva did when she was hurt emotionally. Quiet yet you could see the pain she was in.

"If you don't eat something right now I will take your favorite teddy bear away" Jenny threatened.

The little girl went to her room. _Going to hide that d*** bear _Jenny thought to herself. She smiled and followed the little girl into her room. The girl found her teddy bear and turned around. She pushed the teddy bear on her mother's stomach and let it go, leaving her mother holding the bear in shock.

"Fine" Jenny said "How am I going to get you to eat?"

"Lemme talk to Dada" the girl hardly said out loud.

"Darling I told you I can't. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No"

"Alyssa"

"I wanna die mamma" the girl said. "I don't like living anymore. I don't like the way my family is."

Her mother softened speechless.

"But I'll eat. I'll be happy again if i talk to dada. You don't even have to be there mama." The little girl said starring at the phone. "I'll be happy..." she repeated.

Jenny grabbed the phone and forced herself to push the buttons. Watching the little girl still showed no emotion. Hitting the final button Jenny walked out. She was in seeing and hearing distance but she wanted Alyssa to think she was alone with Jethro.

"Yeah Gibbs" She heard the phone. She stopped breathing as she awaited her daughter's response.

"Dada it's Alyssa" She said.

"Is something wrong" Gibbs asked. He hadn't heard from her or Jen in about a year now.

"Yes dada" The girl said tears in her eyes.

"What" he asked softly.

"Nothing important" she said a tear sliding down her cheek. "Why are you gone"

He sat down at his desk in silence. Tony, Kate and the new agent McGee stared at him as he went silent.

"I'm busy" he lied. He wasn't sure if Jenny had told Alyssa about why he was gone or not.

"Mama misses you so much Dada. She'll never say it but you can tell"

She felt her eyes water as she starred at her daughter making the phone call. She might have acted like a strong emotionless girl but at the end of the day she was just a girl who misses her father.

"Really. How so?" he asked.

"Well she always sad dada and she get real mad easy. She stop drinking coffee and that other drink i'm not allowed to have. She says a lot in her sleep. She doesn't sleep in bed anymore." Alyssa said. "Secretly I think she regret whatever she did wrong."

Jethro smiled at his daughter. He liked her gossip like tone as she whispered into the phone about her mother. He knew there was a chance Jenny was struggling and it was nice to hear her more often. Although he missed hearing Jenny as well.

"Is Jen there?" He asked.

"Mamma don't wanna talk to you Dada. She not even in the room now. Only reason she called is cuz i need to eat." Alyssa said blushing with embarrassment as she told her father the truth.

"How bout we make a deal?" he said. "You eat every meal and you smile for your mom and I'll call you every Friday and we'll talk until you have to go to bed."

"Every night" she tried.

"Can't do"

"Then no"

"Fine I'll just never call aga-" He started but he was cut off.

"Never mind Dada call. I'll be good I swear it" she said crossing her heart.

Jenny exhaled noticing she had been holding her breath for a while now. Then smiled.

"Bed time" Jenny came in saying.

"Night Dada" Alyssa said blowing him a kiss through the phone.

"Night" he said softly. He heard Alyssa run away her dinner complete. Jenny picked up the phone to put it away.

"Night Jen" she heard his voice say before the line went dead. She knew it meant nothing but good night. Yet there was something so special in it she felt like she never wanted to move again. She wanted to replay it forever.

Alyssa smiled as she saw her mother starring at the phone. Her mother was frail at times and very strong at others. She knew her mother had been struggling a lot with everything that ever happened. Alyssa didn't care what people said anymore. Curling up in bed without a kiss from her dad would be forever. Not because her dad didn't love her but because he was strong. Kisses weren't his thing. Except for when it came to Mama.

Whatever he had said to her had to have meant something or she would've put the phone down. It didn't matter what people said. In her eyes her parents were in love.

The eyes of a child. She slept sound that night the peace regaining to her body.

She couldn't hear her mother screaming for help.

Nobody could.

**A/N: 2 reviews needed for next chapter. Sorry again for the cliff hanger. Glad to hear some people are enjoying it. Hope to hear how it is! Suggestions?  
**

**With all love,  
**

**-Sasha  
**


	15. Catching

It seemed as if nobody could sleep. Tony was eating a pizza and kept running over movie quotes. Kate was drinking a vanilla frosty and eating some sort of veggie wrap which looked gross to the men on the team. McGee was typing up something on his computer while he ate some sort of Chinese food. Even though they were tired they didn't seem to want to go home.

"Hey Kate" Tony said shoving a slice of pizza in his mouth.

"What?" she asked softly.

"You ever watch 'The Princess Bride'" he asked.

"No" she said taking another sip of her frosty leaving lipstick on the straw.

"I wanna divorce" he said in a very serious voice although it was obvious he was kidding.

"For once we agree on something" Kate said a very serious look on her face before it was wiped away by a smile.

"Something's not right" Gibbs said standing up. He walked over to McGee's desk. "You think you can track a phone number for me" he stated even though it seemed like it would commonly be a question.

"Yeah boss what's the number?"

"410-555-3657" Gibbs said.

"Boss isn't that-" Tony began but McGee cut him off.

"Whoever it is they are in a car driving fast."

"Kate call her" He said softly.

Kate looked at him suspiciously but picked up her phone and dialed. She got a voice mail and shook her head at Gibbs.

Gibbs grabbed his jacket. For all he knew she was taking a drive to the bar or just around the neighborhood. But his gut was telling him she was in trouble. He began to rush out. "Send me coordinates McGee" he said rushing out Tony and Kate on his six.

* * *

The phone woke her up. Alyssa sat up in bed and waited for her mother to pick it up. She always did. But when she heard it continue to ring she got out of bed and walked into the study. She reached across the table and picked it up.

"Hello?" she asked tired.

"Alyssa? It's dinosaur" Tony said and Kate smirked at the name.

"Mommy not here" Alyssa said and hung up.

Tony angrily hung up. "She's alone boss" he said.

Gibbs picked up his phone and called Ari. Ziva picked up.

"Haswari" she said using Ari's last name in case the caller was someone expecting to hear Ari.

"Ziva" Gibbs said into the phone. "Alyssa's alone. Jenny's missing. I need you to watch her"

Ziva didn't need anymore then that. She hung up the phone grabbed a jacket and ran off to tend herself to Alyssa's needs.

Gibbs drove faster. He might not have seen Jenny in a long time but he didn't want to lose her forever. He could never admit it but secretly he wanted her to be his. And if this man killed her it didn't matter if he killed him. He'd lose his second chance forever.

He saw a car pulled over. He heard screaming as he stopped the car suddenly. The car on his screen was moving ahead.

"Gibbs she's getting away" Kate said starring at the phone on the screen. But Gibbs recognized the scream coming from the car.

Tony knew his boss was correct when he heard Jenny talking. He flashed a look at Kate and he could see she knew too. They both however would never know how Gibbs knew before this moment.

"Kill me but leave my child alone" she said.

Tony nearly charged in but Gibbs shook his head. "If we go in there now she's dead" he whispered. Tony knew Gibbs was right but had an overwhelming urge to run in there and save her. Jenny was a close friend of his and right now he felt as though he had to save her. Kate gave him the don't do it look but he didn't listen. Going in he aimed his gun at the woman who didn't notice and slapped Jenny across the face.

In pain Jenny fell to the floor her jaw in pain, lip bleeding. The woman spit on her as Kate came out from behind and held her gun up to the man's head. Feeling as though there was someone behind him the man turned around. He looked as if he was going to say something but Kate held up a finger to her lips. Agent Timothy McGee also had his gun to the man now.

Gibbs came up towards the woman yet didn't make her aware of their presence. Jenny then dug her heel into the woman's foot. Screaming out the girl fell. Angrily about to withdraw a weapon she saw Gibbs and stopped moving.

Getting up Jenny turned away and pushed past Gibbs. Kate looked at her friend sadly but didn't turn to help her. She kept her gun pointed to the bigger man.

"You raped her?" Tony asked.

The man kept a steady gaze on Kate. "She next" he said a sexual grin on his face. Tony tilted his head and pulled the trigger hitting the man dead center in the head. He protected his friend and his wife now. Feeling proud he smiled at Kate who angrily looked at him.

"DiNozzo, Kate get her outta here" Gibbs said turning to the direction of his ex-lover who was now rushing off. He sped up his pace and softly grabbed her arm. She turned around and looked at him causing his grip to release.

"You want to talk" he asked.

"I want to go home and see my daughter" She said. She said it softly not mad. "Our... our daughter" Her eyes watered at the sound of that. She hadn't said our in a long time. Especially about her daughter who meant the world to her now.

"Ok." he said a blunt answer. He didn't want to talk to her either at the moment. He wanted her to gradually come back to him. Or it wouldn't be special.

"I'll drive you home" he said.

She nodded getting into his car. She wasn't used to this kind of treatment from him and wasn't expecting this meet up. Not like this. Driving her home the ride was quiet. Pulling up he parked. At first nobody moved. They both just starred at the house no emotion spreading their faces although both could feel the pain eating away at the other.

"I guess I should go" Jenny said at last.

He put a hand on her kneecap and looked into her green eyes. "You ever need me Jen don't be afraid to give me a call" he said. She tried to turn away and leave but she found it harder then ever. "Can you just... stay in here with me?" she asked quietly.

"You wanna sleep in here?" he asked.

"Yes"

"You want me here"

"Yes"

"Ok" he said looking at her as she turned away to fall asleep. He pulled his hand away and kept his eyes open. If anything it was his job to protect her now. Even if it seemed as though he could sleep he couldn't.

"Jethro" she said hours later.

He turned his head and looked at her.

"Thank-you" she said softly before turning around to fall asleep again. Watching her sleep brought peace to him, and soon enough he was asleep too.

**A/N: I haven't gotten any reviews for the last chapter yet but I have to post this one tonight. 2 more reviews for this chapter or the last one for the next one! Thank you those who read and enjoy. I will count a follow as a review! **

**With all love,  
**

**Sasha  
**

**NEXT CHAPTER  
**

**Jenny and Gibbs?  
**

**What does the new agent have against Tony?  
**

**Why are Ziva and Kate fighting?  
**

**Why is Alyssa sick?  
**

**READ ON TO FIND OUT!  
**


	16. Battlefield

She woke up because of the sunlight. It was soooo bright. She was cold and noticed she was wearing his jacket. He was awake starring out the window. She turned toward him tired and could feel her hair a mess. She didn't really care about that though. He'd seen her in worse situations.

"I'm cold Jethro let's go inside" She said at last.

"You inviting me to stay Jen" he asked.

She suddenly got this over whelming urge to elbow him but decided since their relationship wasn't a real solid one she shouldn't push it. She just opened her door and he opened his and they got out of the car. Unlocking the door she walked in first. Then he did.

As soon as he walked in all of Earth heard Alyssa scream his name. She wrapped her arms around him. Ziva gave a slight nod and smile but quickly wiped it off her face. It was as if it hurt her to smile.

* * *

Timothy McGee decided he hated Tony DiNozzo. It wasn't the smiles or the jokes. It was what he did last night that gave him a whole new look at some things.

Tony was always the jokster but when McGee saw him pull that trigger it scared him enough to make him nearly pee himself. Why had Tony just shot a man about to be taken into custody? That man had done things wrong, yes but not nearly as wrong as Tony pulling the trigger.

"Ignoring me McProbie" Tony asked.

"Just thinking about something" McGee said.

"Girl?" Tony asked. Kate smiled because of the comment she was about to say next.

"You're married and still all you wanna think about is women" She said.

"Do not" tony said.

A woman walked into the room. She was older then tony thought. Way older. Her hair was a bronze- ish color and her eyes were a light green. Her skin was very pale. She didn't look very well.

"Is special agent Gibbs here" she asked. Her voice was higher pitched but kind of deep no pun intended.

"Um vacation break" Tony said sitting down in his chair.

"I need to talk to him soon. I'm having a little problem." she said tears swelling her eyes.

"I could help you contact him" Kate said standing up in order to help the woman. Glad to get some help from somebody here she smiled. Although it was slight it was pretty. Even though she was older the smile showed a blink of her past. She was a pretty girl when she was younger.

Kate called Gibbs on his cell phone. Hearing his "Yeah Gibbs" she handed the phone to the woman and directed her to the steps near m-tac for her call to be private.

* * *

The woman stood outside the house. She was cold although she was wearing a jacket. She hadn't been here since... a long time. She hadn't seen certain things, hear certain people since forever. She'd always dreamed of this day but never thought that it would come to her. And now that it had she almost wished it was a dream. But she needed to do this in order to save a life, maybe more. If this was deadly and spreadable it was the only way she could save this person or these people.

Knocking on the door her hand shook and seeing the man who opened it made her smile. She never seen him before but her daughter had said some things and described him perfectly. He moved aside from the door and let her in.

"I hope she isn't here" the woman said.

"asleep" he said offering her coffee. She accepted and drank some of it.

"You said there was a problem." he said. Gibbs drank his own coffee waiting the woman to speak.

"Jenny's in trouble. Or at least she could be. And I don't know if I have any grandchildren but if I do they could be in trouble too." Grace Shepard said her hair shaking with her words. "I have an awful kidney illness. I found out too late. In a few months I'll be in the ground, most likely where she wants me to be. The h*** I put that girl through when she was a child."

"She could get it" Gibbs said piecing together what she was saying.

Nodding Grace Shepard continued. "She can get a transplant if I am not to late."

Hearing the door open Grace Shepard's eyebrows jetted up. "Please don't tell me that's-" she started but seeing her daughter standing there answered all of her questions.

"What the h*** are you doing here?" Jenny asked angrily.

Taken aback by her attitude Gibbs stood up and rubbed his hand against hers which were placed on her hips. "She's leaving" he whispered into his ear.

Ms. Shepard didn't waste time getting up and out of there not bothering to say good bye or thank him for the coffee.

"Why is she here" Jenny nearly screamed.

"Jen you could be sick." he said in a very serious matter.

"Answer me." she spat back.

Gibbs kissed her. He didn't mean to it just happened. Part of it was because he didn't want to fight with her the other part because he loved her. The kiss was better then many they could have had in that moment. Feeling his tongue in her mouth she moaned loudly, an indication of more. He held onto that kiss until there was no air left in him what-so-ever. Together they walked to the bedroom moaning a little at the stop of a kiss or the start of another.

She tore his shirt off and he did the same to her. She pushed him down onto the bed legs around his abdomen as she kissed him harder. He pulled her legs lower and pulled the covers up so they were covered.

When he reached behind her for her bra strap she pulled back against the bed. He could see the fear in her eyes. "Jethro I don't think I can-" she said gently stroking his cheek.

"Whenever you're ready Jen" he said it softly in order to persuade her. He then kissed her collarbone making her shudder with affection. _D*** why can't I just let him in like I did before. The rapist is dead don't let him live inside of you. _She told herself. "Do it" she said at last.

He popped her bra strap within a matter of seconds. Without even knowing it their underwear was off. "Are you sure Jen" He said. Their love could be complicated some times so he wanted to wait to be sure.

Pinned down on the bed she nodded slowly. It felt like she was a virgin, she hadn't done this so long.

He thrust into her hard and fierce as he always had. She screamed out at the white pain that traveled through out her body. He growled as he thrust again his time harder and farther.

Hunched, her back of the bed she kissed him. He then lay down beside her both very tired and sweaty.

"So... tell me about your mom" he said.

She smiled. "I can't have sex then tell you about my mother"

"Please?" He fiddled with her hair a little.

"She's a b***h Jethro" she said.

"Continue"

"That's it"

He kissed that sensitive spot again on her collarbone. He whispered against her "Come on Jen"

"She was just... she didn't help anyone when my dad died and I just hate her for it." she said shrugging.

He then rolled her on top of him and kissed her.

"She also... I told her I was pregnant and needed help and... she never called me back. I just couldn't believe she wouldn't be there for me when I needed her. She couldn't stop to see her family was in need. She's a selfish woman even if it doesn't seem like it at first. She'll be nice until you ask her for help. Then she walks away and she won't come back unless she needs something from you. She did it when I was little. She'll do it again"

"Jen we have to get you in a hospital" he said getting off of her, throwing on some clothes.

"What?" she said.

"Hospital... now"

"I'm on a pill" she said smiling.

"Your mother came by today to tell me she's sick. And you could be too. Get dressed." he said.

She got up and put on some clothes. D*** their love was like a battlefield.

**A/N: I know not much of a cliff hanger and a little smutty but next time... Please review or follow it! 2 reviews or follows/favorite required! Glad to see some new faces! 143!  
**

**-Sasha  
**


	17. Numb

She lie down on the bed. The most uncomfortable bed she had ever laid on in her life. A hospital bed, and a hard one. She was sick. Dying in fact and she had no control over it. The only way they could help her is to lie her down, give her a transplant, and pray. It hurt her to know that just when things were getting started she might have to leave the world forever.

He stared at her as she lie down her red hair moving with her head. He wondered what she was thinking about, if she's planning to do what these people say. If she's willing to go through all the pain it's going to cause her. He wasn't even sure he could handle it with the pain it would cause him. He liked having control on the outcome. But right here watching her lie down he knew this was out of his control. All he had left in him was to hope, something Leroy Jethro Gibbs did not like to count on.

"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked.

"You really wanna know" she said half smiling.

The doctor didn't seem to enjoy her jokes very much. "Ms. Jennifer Shepard I'm going to need you to tell me if you feel any pain. If you do we could have a serious problem which will cause more pain in your lower abdomen. This can cause a serious-"

She rolled her eyes. "I think I understand"

The doctor huffed in a way. He hated stubborn patients.

* * *

Kate grabbed her purse and rushed out the door, Tony not far behind her. She jumped in the car and drove, picking up Abby and McGee on the way. How could this happen to her friend. Death was always a possibility for her and the other agents. But life isn't supposed to be taken this easily from someone this wonderful in the world.

They pulled up into the parking lot and jumped out of the car. Kate ran like she was being chased by monsters. She didn't bother to check in at the front desk. She ran past it and outside Jenny's room. Tony signed them in and then sped up his pace. Right before Kate entered the room he grabbed her wrist.

"Kate" he said softly.

"She's my friend Tony if you expect me to wait around out here we both know it's not going to happen"

"I was just going to say knock" he said.

She knocked then opened the door to see her friend. The imagination of her looking bad faded. She just looked tired.

"That was fast, thought it would take you longer"

"I didn't know what time you were going into surgery"

"I'm not" the redhead said sadly. "I can't"

Kate nearly screamed but kept herself calm. "Are you accepting that you're going to die when you have the chance to live?"

Jenny frowned. "I just-"

"It's not about you this time. It's about Gibbs and Alyssa who are going to lose everything they have. Tony, McGee, Abby, and I will lose a friend. People like us care for you and if you have the chance to make everything OK why the h*** would you give that chance up?"

Ziva entered the room stiffly staring at the situation lying in front of her. Kate turned around and stormed out nothing to say to Jenny or Ziva at the moment. She couldn't believe what happened just there. She knew she had to call Gibbs right away.

Dialing his number she quickly called. Alyssa picked up the phone. "Alyssa for Dada" she said. Kate rolled her eyes because she was irritated at the moment. "Can you give the phone to him" Kate asked.

"He not here so bye bye" she said hanging up.

"where the h*** is Gibbs"

"Behind you" a voice said and she whirled around. "She's not getting the treatment Gibbs"

And she watched as Gibbs quickly ran into the room his lover was in.

That had been 3 hours ago and it was getting late. Ziva and Ari had left. Tony left to go help care for Alyssa and McGee and Abby had wrapped up for the night. Kate was by herself in the waiting room. Gibbs and Jenny were in the hospital room. Kate checked her watch. She was sooo tired and should be in bed by now, but she couldn't sleep knowing that... knowing for sure that her friend was going to die.

At last Kate decided to go home. And soon later Gibbs was forced out by Jenny herself, telling him he needed to check on Alyssa and that she needed to know what was happening so that when it came...

But Gibbs couldn't sleep. There was just no way he could shut his eyes. Because he was there but she wasn't. What was the point in pretending he could live without her. He decided to call Tony, who was asleep so he called Kate instead.

"Gibbs" she said tiredly. "I'm guessing you can't sleep either" They had a conversation about good times they'd shared with Jenny and how bad they wanted her to stay. How this was unfair and that she needed something to change her mind.

"I'll meet you at the hospital in 5" he said at last. They both hung up and drove off.

If Kate would've ran in like she did before. If Gibbs would've decided to be a little faster. If Kate wouldn't have been a little late to see Jenny, they would have died. Because right before they walked in a bomb in the hospital went off. No alarms, no alerts... just a big boom and some cries.

And the ones on the 1,2,3,4, and maybe even 5th floor. The hundreds of people there... there were no survivors.

**A/N: Who knows maybe Jenny was on the 6th floor? I know you hate me but review and _act_ like you love me and the next chapter will be up asap!**


	18. No Survivors

Kate Pov.

She felt the blast as she had many times before. First just the impact. The air pushing you back on the ground, forcing your head to jerk up. Right before you hit the ground you feel all the cuts and burns it left. When you hit the ground it hurts like h***. You can hear the people screaming and if you're lucky you might be able to open your eyes.

Kate was one of those lucky people and she knew it when she felt her eyes open. When the second bomb went off she ducked down. She saw pregnant women who needed help. Heard the babies inside crying the first and last tears they'd have. She saw the elderly hope fade in their eyes. There was no way she could save everyone.

Making a final choice she went for the babies. She heard Gibbs yell as she went in. She nearly tripped on a piece of wood that fell. She could see the babies now and there were maybe 30 of them there. "D***" she mumbled to herself. She was able to fit a child in her purse and hold maybe 3 in her arms. She was stuck choosing which 4 of these children would survive.

She saw Gibbs run in and only 2 nurses. There might be a chance for these guys. She gave Gibbs 3 of the children, and each nurse 3. That was 13 down, 17 to go. Gibbs could see Kate wasn't leaving without all of them. Seeing her solution she strapped a baby carrier on her and the 2 nurses. One more which made it 16 down 14 to go.

A firefighter ran in and was able to carry some. It wasn't like they were carrying children in this case. They ended up stacking them up like boxes one on top of the other until they were able to get out. No child left behind and Kate was proud of herself. She considered going back in to help people but getting out was nearly impossible. There was no way she could go back in there for anything.

And then she noticed how bad she was, why Gibbs had been worried. She had a huge cut across her arm and could see blood running from her face, so she knew something was going on up there. Her legs were covered in burns and the smoke in the air was pretty heavy when she had been inside. It made it so hard to breathe...

* * *

Gibbs went to the firefighter. "Who were the survivors" he asked showing no grief in his voice although his heart hurt like nothing he had ever felt before.

The firefighter shook his head. "Nobody on the first 4 floors except for the little ones you managed to save. 5th floor we are uncertain about. The bomb hit but I have men up there now. We're pulling people out of the 6th and 7th floor."

He remembered Jenny was on the 4th floor. He felt his heart sink and took a deep breath to keep from screaming.

There might be a chance that she was alive but it seemed so slim now. A miracle is what it would take and the fact they'd saved 30 babies might have been the only luck they had left.

* * *

She moved through the dying people. Or the dead ones. People who were stable enough she collected and managed to get them up. Maybe she could save these people. A very pregnant woman tried to walk but she couldn't. Jennifer Shepard helped her stand. She said caring words to her. There was no way she was leaving this woman, if it cost her her life. Other people were running and screaming.

They didn't make it to the stairs yet the elevator. Jenny was forced to make a choice. The stairs were to far away but the say never get in an elevator when there's a fire. The other woman looked very sick. She grabbed the woman's wrist and pulled her into the elevator.

The elevator air was much better then the other air but not perfect as being outside. The elevator jerked and stopped nearly making them both fall onto the ground. "D***" Jenny mumbled under her breath. The woman started breathing heavy. "I can't-" she said holding her stomach.

Jenny hit the door a few times as the elevator started to fill up with smoke. In about 15 minutes they'd both be dead. She made the wrong choice. "Alright what's your name" Jenny asked. She had to keep the woman calm. "Jessie" the girl said.

"And what's her name?" Jenny said directing her eyes to the Jessie's stomach.

"It's a boy" Jessie said.

Jenny smiled but she knew she had to call for help. "Do you have your cell phone" Jenny asked.

The girl nodded and pulled it out. Jenny grabbed it and dialed the number.

"Jen!" she heard a voice.

"I'm in the elevator Jethro." she started coughing. "It's stuck"

"DON'T MOVE" he said and started running inside.

He directed the firemen. To the elevator. Jenny was nearly passed out. Jessie was dead.

Tumbling out of the elevator with tears all over she saw Jessie's motionless body. "Jethro-" she said ever so softly.

"I need a mask." a firefighter said.

"They gave her CPR, a mask, everything... but she didn't come back.

That's 2000 dead and counting" the head firefighter said to Gibbs.

H*** it was like there were no survivors.

**A/N: I know a lot to take in. The next chapter's a little more easy going with some _children_ and grief. Just 1 review necessary since this one was short but please review anyway because it really means a lot. Thank-you my reviewers! 143!**

**-Sasha**


	19. Accept

But there was a few survivors such as Jenny herself as she saw her new friend dead on the ground. She wanted to blame herself. To hate herself and to put it on somebody like she had before. But she had learned that had done nothing. She liked taking care of herself, but sometimes she needed somebody to help her, as she did now.

It wasn't like she knew about the bomb or put it there. She had as much luck as all of the other people in the hospital. But if you don't hate yourself you have to hate somebody. And right now she hated whoever put that bomb there. Whoever killed all of those people. She wanted to know who it was and would stop at nothing to find out.

But for now she let Jethro hold her because nothing else mattered except that she was safe. There was no going back in time to save lives so you have to move on and accept. It was new for Jenny Shepard but something she was ready to do.

Helping her walk out Jethro stood by her side. She heard the babies crying and was glad to hear somebody else got out of there alive. She drove home with Jethro and Kate who was asking them to watch over some of the babies until their parents could take them and they were identified. It was a silent ride back.

Unbuckling their seat belts they all just sat there waiting for somebody to speak but when nobody did, they began moving again. Alyssa broke the silence of the moment.

"MAMA" she yelled running into her mother's arms. "I was so scared because i heard what happened and I-" Alyssa didn't finish she just looked up at some of the babies. "Who are they" she asked glaring at each one.

"They're only staying a while" Kate said but the girl looked unsure.

"I am not sharing my mama and dada" she said stubbornly. Gibbs smirked.

"She's a lot like you" he whispered to Jenny.

Jenny smiled at her daughter and slightly elbowed Gibbs. The day from then went easy for then except for the fact they didn't talk.

It was 9 o' clock when Jenny put Alyssa and the rest of the children to bed. Some of their parents had taken them but the other 2 stayed. Jenny curled up on the couch watching a movie while Gibbs sat on the other end.

"It's not your fault" he said. Her eyes remained on the screen.

"You tried to save her. Doctors said either way she wouldn't have survived. Not worth crying about"

Goosebumps spread over her whole body as he spoke. In that elevator she swore she'd never hear his voice soothing her again. Never see her daughter run up and hug her like that. And the thought of losing that kind of love was unbearable. Even if it had it's bad moments. Even if sometimes it seemed nothing would ever be ok again. She was a fool to nearly accept death.

"I'm getting the treatment if that's what you're trying to tell me Jethro" she said eyes fixed on the screen. She didn't care about the movie but she couldn't bear to see him stare at her.

He nodded. D*** he could be so secretive sometimes of what he was thinking.

He wanted her to get the treatment and when she said she was his heart nearly skipped a beat. Until he thought about everything. Jenny almost died due to a bomb attack. And she was ok now. How? Had she actually learned how to accept?

It was hard to hide her feelings as she looked at him trying to hide his feelings. She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again. Open and shut almost 2 more times before he opened his mouth. He wanted to speak. And when Leroy Jethro Gibbs makes up his mind, his mind's made up.

"What made you change your mind" he asked.

"The girl in the elevator"

Silence. So Jenny explained.

"All she wanted was a family. A baby and a lover, someone to rely on and take care of. I have all that she ever wanted and more." Jenny paused and inhaled fighting back the tears that were forming.

"And she didn't have a choice... to live. To get out of there alive. I heard her last words Jethro and she told me if she was just given a chance... she would do anything for a chance to survive and for her baby to survive. To care for her family. She didn't get that chance but i did. I still do. And I wonder if she would've really done what she said she would."

"You were scared"

"Yes. I was scared I'd never get a chance to see Alyssa... never get to see you or-" her voice choked off as he hugged her and softly put his lips near her ear. "You're ok" he said. The two words she really needed to hear right now, the two words that meant something in the moment.

She shivered a little noticing how real this was. How right it was.

**A/N: I'm not sure if this is the end yet but I'm getting there. I'm sorry to wrap it up but I could write this story for the rest of my life. Please review and I'll see about another chapter.**


	20. In The Lake

Alyssa Shepard was running. She didn't know where her dad was or her mother. She had no idea where Dinosaur was or Auntie Kate. She saw a cold black lake... and fell in...

* * *

With his lips on her his hands roaming her body it was as if he could never get enough. Never would he forget her taste. He kept his mouth on her. Nibbled her lip to keep her quiet.

Jenny Shepard screamed out in white pain as her head hit his boat cracking some of the wood. He screwed her up against his boat. Hearing him moan in pleasure she pushed up against him. Hard.

"Jethro this is the 2nd time we've done this" she moaned against his mouth. Her lips moved down his body.

"Maybe that's cuz you're so good with your mouth" he said pulling her mouth to his as he thrust into her. He was upset when his phone rang.

"Yeah Gibbs?" he said obviously irritated the call had interrupted well...their **session**.

"Special Agent Gibbs s this is special agent Stella Debian CMI." she said.

"Yeah what the h*** do ya want?" he growled.

"I called to let you know a little girl was found dead in the lake. She was identified as an Alyssa Shepard. We need you right away to... be here" she said.

"Alyssa Shepard?" he asked. It was as if the woman went mute. He saw Jenny look up at him with confusion. Seeing her face his eyes swelled up with water. "Where?" he asked, and then hung up.

He attempted to ignore Jenny as he put his clothes on. Seeing him dress she began to. He managed to avoid her until she grabbed his arm.

"I thought we trusted each other" she said in question.

But HOW COULD HE TELL HER? Better question. HOW COULD HE NOT? He would tell her as soon as he knew it was his girl. As soon as he was sure.

"Got a case Jen" he lied and headed up the stairs. She nodded but couldn't help looking up in fear as he left. He never walked out on her for a case. She then heard Kate enter the room and quickly slid on her skirt.

* * *

Gibbs arrived at the scene and saw the lady he was dealing with. CMI stood for Child Murder Investigation. The woman special agent Stella Debian was just as he expected. Young agent blonde wavy hair and a face coated in make up. Very pretty.

"You must be special agent Gibbs" she said snapping a picture of some evidence. She blocked his view of it and stood in his way. "I called you for 2 things Gibbs. Measurements and identification. This case belongs to the CMI. No arguments no coin flipping, no straw pulling. Am I to be understood?" she asked.

Gibbs nodded and she bit her lip. "I'm praying you know your daughter's measurements." Gibbs nodded.

"31 pounds weight, 37 inches tall." She wrote the numbers down as he spoke. "Thank you agent Gibbs. And umm..." She reached into her pocket, and pulled out a small hair clip that had a black rose on it. "I found it only a few feet from here. I was thinking you might want it" She handed it to him.

Seeing the pain on his face she read his mind. "You haven't told her mother." she stated.

"Not yet" he said partly upset with himself and partially embarrassed.

"I can do it if you'd like." she said.

He held the clip in his hand and twisted it in his fingers. "No" he said. They exchanged good-byes and he gave her his work number if they found out anything. But he could tell it was Alyssa. Without proof. Without the hair clip.

* * *

Kat's eyes filled with water and Jenny grew concerned.

"You alright?" she asked not knowing what was happening.

Kate looked at her friend with tears now coming from her eyes. Jenny was so concerned and unaware. An investigator didn't have to be there to see it. She didn't know. Gibbs had not told her.

"Gibbs didn't tell you" she said wiping the tears off her cheeks. Jenny's eyebrows curled giving her a completely terrified and confused look. Right at that moment Gibbs walked through the door. Pain written all over his face.

He hugged Kate and let her go home to Tony since Gibbs was with Jen now. Once she was gone and Jenny knew somebody was dead, she attempted to guess who it was.

"Tony?" she guessed and Gibbs shook his head. "Ducky" she asked fear striking her every time before he answered. Relieved when he shook his head no, yet scared the next name she mentioned he would say yes to.

"Lord don't let it be Abby" she said. Again he shook his head. "McGee?" Seeing his answer she thought harder. "Ari?" No again. "Ziva?"

He grabbed her and swooped her up into a giant hug before she said anyone else. But she was clueless. And then just out of no where it hit her. Harder than any bullet. Harder than anything.

She wanted to stay strong but there was no way in h*** that was going to happen so she allowed him to hold her as she cried in his arms. "No..." she said softly. The moment was so sad Gibbs felt himself crying.

He eventually decided she should sleep, so he helped her walk to the bedroom. She cried forever and more with him there to mend her. Her baby was dead.

**A/N: I know I said I was ending it but... I just can't! I'm sorry I had to kill her off because I loved her too, but please keep reading the next chapter even if your heart is broken. Please review.**


	21. The Funeral

**This chapter is based on Cote De Pablo's I don't believe it anymore.**

He saw the stares he got. The sadness filling them, the anger shaded behind fears. It had been maybe 2 weeks but who kept track of time anymore? Now they were at the funeral.

The priest was wonderful at putting up with his job. He didn't shed a tear although anyone else in the room was crying like they'd lost everything. Two specific people did lose everything. Everything being their baby.

A few people made speeches about the girl Alyssa was. Kate's was the saddest in which everyone cried. Tony's was the funniest causing almost everyone to smile at the good moments he brought up. But the last part of his speech was sad. Even the Mossad assassin ninja Ziva David made a speech.

Burying the body was the hardest part for Jenny. In fact she nearly collapsed at it only holding onto Gibbs for comfort. One time Kate and Tony and Gibbs needed to help her stand up right. Even Gibbs cried as she bent over the area and whispered into it.

"Good-bye baby. I- I love you so much" she whispered causing everyone's eyes to water up. Even the priest looked as though he was going to crack.

Gibbs wrapped his arms around her. Buried her face in his shoulder. Kate fell down once in tears due to how close she was with Alyssa. Even Tony was near tears. But Alyssa Shepard wasn't dead. NOT YET

A/N: I know this is short but i felt bad for not posting for a while now. For all Cote fans the song is beautiful. 2 reviews for the next (longer) chapter.


	22. The Hospital

Jenny's neighbor Laura Crow was not one to do much when there was loss of a family member. For example she thought flowers only hurt the person who has lost, she feels they are a mark saying "Sorry they're dead. Flowers?" Not that that's the message but it seems that way doesn't it? So she decided to visit.

An hour earlier.

Jenny Shepard stared at the room. The room Alyssa had once slept in. The room she'd play in. It was almost empty now, with everything a mess. Most toys were gone, bed sheets, clothes.

She picked up a vase full of flowers somebody gave her. And she couldn't stand it. She threw it across the room as it hit her alcohol case. Glass shattering everywhere. A piece of glass inserted itself into her side.

It became hard to stand so she sat down in the corner. She saw Alyssa right there in front of her.

"What's wrong mama?" she asked.

Jenny could feel the blood coming from her mouth now. Blood was clotting in her lungs making it difficult to breathe and causing her to cough a lot. She reached for the phone but just couldn't reach it.

"Where's dada?" Alyssa asked softly.

But Jenny did not answer. Seeing Jenny in so much pain Alyssa ran off.

Only 30 minutes later when Jenny was nearly unconscious she heard somebody enter. Barely keeping her eyes open she saw her neighbor Laura enter the room.

"Holy sh**!" Laura screamed running over to her friend who was obviously in pain. She took out her cell phone and immediately called 911, and then Gibbs since she knew he'd at least want to know his wife was lying on the floor covered in blood. But the thing that was scarring her is that Jenny was convinced her daughter was alive.

In the hospital it was usually just doctors. Or family in the waiting room. But now stood 4 ncis special agents, a forensic scientist, an agency director, 2 mossad agents, a maid, a driver, and even a retired agent Mike Franks.

A doctor came out and they all stood up as her eyes widened seeing all the people there. She asked for the closest member of Jenny in which Gibbs stood alone but Kate chose to come along to.

The "Woman support" had gotten her to know Jenny in the first place and now if she needed a woman Kate would be there as she always had. The nurse spoke with a slight accent but was easily understandable.

"She doing fine except for the fact she keeps speaking of an Aleesa"? The nurse said. "Claim she alive"

"Alyssa's her daughter. Died last month." he bluntly answered.

"Then she is having hallucinations. Obviously she misses her daughter and want her back. Her mind must be trying to satisfy her. In my opinion she should go home. She can stay over night if you'd like but it won't be much help."

Kate nodded and shook hands with the doctor knowing that Gibbs wouldn't. Gibbs went right into the room where Jenny lie.

"Jethro thank god you're here" Jenny said attempting to stand up. The attempt failed but she didn't care.

"Jen-"

"I know you're going to say it's crazy but I saw her! She was there and she was scared. Eventually she got so scared she ran off."

"It's a hallucination Jen"

"No it's not. You have to believe me Jethro. Can you just... trust me on this one?"

And he stared at her. The tears in her eyes, the pain. She really believed that Alyssa was alive.

And we was starting to wonder if she was.

And he was starting to wonder... how long she would be.

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews! I'm loving them! Gobble Gobble. Happy Thanksgiving! **


	23. Come: dedicated to those who have lost

Walking into the house he heard the phone ringing. But his main goal was to get her into bed. She was obviously tired, but denied it every time. Sometimes redheads could be so d*** stubborn.

Only about an hour later he got a phone call from an unknown number. At first he thought to ignore it, but then he wasn't sure. What if Alyssa was alive? Or what if this was the doctor who helped Jen? What if it was Grace Shepard calling about the illness? After only seconds of debating with himself he picked up the call.

"Yeah it's Gibbs"

"I have her" a voice said. "I'm in the same house she is"

Gibbs inhaled. "What do you want"

The voice chuckled. "From you? Nothing at all. I have what I want."

And the line went dead.

Gibbs first move was to call NCIS. Have McGee and Abby run test to match a voice and run everything else possible in order to ID. Kate called just at the right time and he picked up frantically.

"Gibbs! Alyssa is right here in front of me!" she said.

_I'm in the same house as she is._

"Kate he's there"

_I already have what I want._

"What do you mean?"

_Nothing at all._

He heard a scream over the phone from Kate and ran out of the house grabbing his SIG on the way out. He drove about 10X faster then the speed limit, flashing his ID through the mirror to any cop that tried to pull him over.

He ran into Kate's house where a lot of things were broken. He saw Alyssa huddled in the corner crying. He put a finger over his lips singling her to be quiet. She put her own finger on her lips nodding signaling him she understood not to speak.

"You b*s*a*d. You f***ing b*s*a*d." he heard Kate say and saw a big bulky man lying there on the ground blood all over his hands and face.

"He dead?" Gibbs asked

"Thought I'd leave that to you" she said.

Her arms were covered in blood, which could be hers or could've been the man in front of the two of them. He was big and strong, about 6'3" and weighed about 280 pounds. He had a small beard and dark hair.

He smiled at Kate and handed her a gun. What she chose to do with it was her choice completely. He heard it fire and exhaled a breath he didn't notice he was holding. Maybe he had wanted him dead. Either way that man was gone now, thanks to a d*** good agent, and an even better friend. He walked over to his daughter and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She was no longer crying although her eyes were red and she had spots down her face indicating she had been crying before. She had cigarette sized burns on her arms and her face was scratched. Seeing his daughter this much in pain made him even happier Kate put a bullet in the man's head.

He heard police cars come up to the house. The neighbors must have heard the gun shots and called 911. Or maybe jenny noticed him and his sig were gone which usually meant trouble. He smiled as the police approached. Some people in this situation would run out to the police in tears and blood. Saying that they are scared and sorry. But right now nothing other then his daughter mattered. This was the life of an agent. You save many lives, you end some, and at times you get a reward. A few miracles now and then.

Kate opened the door for the police, showed her badge, handed them the murder weapon, and left. She did it fluently moving like a butterfly. Leaving a speechless officer holding the gun. Gibbs smiled as he picked Alyssa up in his arms.

* * *

Walking home he signaled Alyssa to be quiet. She nodded and smiled. Jenny heard the door open, but lie motionless on the sofa her eyes fixed on the screen. Whatever she was watching was definitely important or she would have at least looked up.

He stood behind the couch watching the screen. 26 people had been killed at a school in Connecticut. Most of them were children. It was an elementary school. He felt his heart drop as a memorial came up for a teacher named Victoria, who had hid the kids in closets and the shooter came in she lied and said they were in the gym. He then killed her.

He could see Jenny shaking in sorrow and coldness. He wondered what she was thinking about. Loss, death, him, her... Alyssa. Jenny could be random when it came to things like this.

"Hey Jen" he said.

She inhaled deeply. "Jethro, I can't" she said tears in her eyes. "I can't do this. Not without Alyssa"

"Ok" he said. He bent over to Alyssa. "go" he whispered.

"MAMA!" she screamed running and wrapping her arms around her mother.

Her eyes met his at first and he flashed a little smile.

For once Jenny Shepard was completely speechless. She moved her mouth to speak but no words came out. Her eyes watered.

"Alyssa" she said at last shaking her head in disbelief.

Alyssa pointed to the burns. "it ok mama, they hurt at first but now it go away like when we at the doctor and he give me a boo boo. But I'm really tired and it neva go away unless I sweep"

Jenny smiled and gave her daughter a huge hug before swooping her up. She put her into her bed and soon her baby girl was fast asleep mumbling little things as she did so.

She walked out of the room and saw Jethro leaning against the door.

She rushed over to him and hugged him tightly. "i have no idea how you did it, and I don't want to know... but god I love you for it" she said in his ear but it wasn't necessarily a whisper.

"You eat dinner yet?" he asked

"no"

"You hungry?"

"Why don't we just skip to dessert?"

"Where'd you get that line Jen? Chic flick?" he joked. They entered the bedroom

"I got it from you" she said licking her bottom lip teasingly.

"Well in that case..." he said pushing her down on the bed.

**A/N: In case you are unaware a shooting occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary school. A 20 year old killed 20 children, the media claims were in a kindergarten class. As my story said Victoria Soto hid her children and claimed they were in the gym. The shooter killed her and moved on. She was only 27 I believe. Most of the children who were killed were either 6 or younger. Please pray for the lost ones and their families. I am so sorry for those who lost somebody in the shooting and I really hope you know they are in a beautiful place with wonderful people who are going to help them. They will be blessed upon on Christmas. If you have any news on the subject or if you are a family member of anyone lost, or if you are willing to help set up a memorial page please use the private message section or write it into a review. I will get back to you as soon as possible. **

**I want you to know this story reunion with Alyssa is dedicated to all of those who have lost a young child, or a child at all.**

**-Sasha**


	24. New Director

"I wonder where he is" A very nosy and curious agent DiNozzo asked his co-workers. He was worried about Gibbs's where bouts instead of focusing on the case. "Track his phone McGee"

"Don't track his phone McGee" Kate said.

"I'm not tracking his phone Tony, because if I do he'll be right behind me" McGee added.

Kate smiled. "I win. And plus Tony he's only 3 minutes late."

"Still it's... strange."

"He has a daughter and a wi- um... girl...um... he has a-"

"Wife?"

"I was going to say friend"

Tony's laugh filtered all of NCIS. "You were not!"

"They aren't married" Kate said attempting to stop this conversation before it went to far. Too late for that attempt however.

"How long do you think they'll stay 'friends'?" Tony asked.

"I think Gibbs just does not want another divorce so why have another marriage?" A very accented voice came from behind him.

Ziva stood there staring at the team. "Sorry to interrupt your... conversation?"

Kate smirked. "I wouldn't recommend getting involved."

"I agree I don't want to add any mules to the fire"

They all looked at each other in pure confusion right as Gibbs entered the room. Seeing the Mossad officer he stopped. "What are you doing here?"

"Ari was injured this morning, along with my father Eli David, Director of Mossad."

"When?"

"0400 this morning during a VERY important meeting. I could not attend because a good friend of mine is getting married. Many directors and secretaries were dead at the scene. Director David lost part of his arm, Ari had a cut to his stomach."

"Still doesn't explain why you're here"

She inhaled deeply. "Are you asking how this involves NCIS?"

He gave her the 'spit it out' kind of look, and she decided it was best to not keep him waiting. People like Gibbs are never that patient.

"Tom Murrow, NCIS director is dead. I was not sent to aware you of the news. In fact the secretary of the navy directed me to not tell anyone. You will hear that he has been wounded. Then your agency will be taken over by a stranger."

"Well there has to be something we can do right?" Kate asked the woman in front of her.

"There is one plan but... it's not perfect."

"Fire away" Tony said.

"Burning the NCIS building would be a possibility Tony, but you would have to move, change your names, and start life over. I have a friend who can make fake passports but-"

"Fire Away is an expression" Tony said cutting her off before she went to far.

"Oh"

"Your plan Ziva?" Gibbs asked.

"Of course. You find a friend acquired for the job, leak the information you have been given and threaten to go to the media"

"It's a leap of faith" Kate said partly against the plan.

"Pretty big leap" McGee added agreeing with Kate's feelings, yet also afraid of what this new stranger would do to NCIS. Part of him was also pretty excited. Maybe he wanted to blackmail all the other agencies just as much as Tony did.

Before any of them could discuss among themselves, Gibbs whipped out his cell phone. "Mr. Secretary this is special agent Gibbs NCIS"

(Mr. Secretary will be written in italics)

_"what can I do for you agent Gibbs?"_

"I'm looking for Director Murrow. He around?"

_"Um actually he's suffering a severe injury. You may take all of your concerns to Assistant Director Leon Vance."_

"this is more personal sir, his daughter is about to give birth. She really wants her father there. Is there any way we can manage a phone call to him?" Gibbs lied about his daughter and the team smiled at it.

_"I will tell you this once more Agent Gibbs he is suffering severe injury"_

"You have a daughter Mr. Secretary?"

_"I don't see how that's relevant"_

"I know he's dead. A reliable source told me this morning. You don't think his daughter should know that?"

_"Who told you? Officer David?"_

"No actually someone else did."

_"NCIS will have a new director Tuesday. I expect you to keep this to yourself."_

"May I recommend a person good for the job sir?"

_"You may, but I doubt it will be possible for us to compromise with you. What's his name?" _

"Her name... is

**A/N: Funny thing is I was really thinking this would be perfect for Jenny but now I think there should be a unique twist to it. Not sure who yet which is why this is left empty! I am sooo sorry about not posting much lately. With Sandy Hook, Christmas, and school this is hard to fit in! Merry Christmas or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or whatever you celebrate. Any suggestions with the story are highly appreciated! Who should be the director of NCIS? LOL let me know. 3 reviews required for the next chapter! Love y'all so much! 143! **

**-Sasha**


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